From The Griftosphere™

by kara on September 28, 2014

Sarah Palin’s internet teevee channel had her taking the opportunity to bitch at her political enemies, those unnamed dummies who failed her by not making her Veepee, and thus failed this once-great nation, in perhaps the clearest glimpse into Palin’s internal monologue ever seen:

Sometimes you have good candidates but they have GOP establishment, smooth-talkin’, knucklehead consultants as their advisors. We need to discourage good candidates from thinking that these, DC especially, advisors who are out of touch with, just, normal, everyday Americans, that these advisors know best. Especially advisors with really, really poor records.

They’re dumb, consultants, sometimes they’re dumb, and they almost always give horrible advice, I find. They try to shape and mold the candidate. Instead of letting a good candidate just be that good candidate, that got ‘em to where they are, well now, these advisors come in, y’know they come ridin’ in, what they want to have perceived as the white horse, and they’re gonna save this campaign, and in the meantime they screw up a lot of things.

So these consultants, I’m not impressed. and yet they keep gettin hired! They’re making hand over fist, they’re making big bucks off innocent contributors to candidates, to campaigns, not knowin’ that a lot of their money is going to these professional politicians, because they’re professional political consultants…well, that’s part of the problem. [...] Again, we live and learn, and we come back stronger.

I assume that the DUMB McCain-Palin senior campaign adviser she speaks of is John McCain’s former tough-talking, Philadelphia accented campaign strategist Steve Schmidt—whose job it was –  before he became a RINO - to knowingly tell outrageous lies in attempts to try to manipulate an entire nation into electing Sarah Palin, some sort of hermetical and menacing Medusa character who figures prominently in the oral histories of the moose community.

Up in Wasilla, it is always the fall of 2008. Up in Wasilla, Sarah Palin is always on her way to ride in on a white moose and rescue John McCain’s awful campaign, if only those DUMB, DUMB advisers would get out of her way…. these DUMB Lone Ranger consultants, a-ridin’ around on horseback imposing their wishes on poor candidate victims an’ re-makin’ ‘em against the candidates’ will – What? The hell you say, it’s the candidates who hire them???? Well, who’da thunk it?

Not to stand up for the professional campaign flacks and consultants, but it’s pretty fckng funny that since Sarah Palin became let loose she’s become even more of a ridiculous biddy than she was when McCain’s cartoonish campaign was trying to make it seem like she had passed 7th grade history, math and civics. Sarah. If you were such a good candidate and all that needed to be done is for you to be unfettered by the consultants shackles to “do your thing”, please explain your plummeted poll numbers that existed even before you got into the drunken snowbilly methbrawl of the century (the delightful chest-puffing display of the Common Arctic Grifter, such magnificence, such splendor. Used in courtship and dominance rituals to establish territory and affirm virility).

Take a look at what Sarah Palin has become without all those meddling DUMB political consultants — a shrill little voice in a dwindling preserve of Republican delusional evangelical apocalyptic hysteria who couldn’t even get her contract renewed by FOX fucking News, author of books on patriotism that rival Suzanne Somers’ volumes of poetry for intellectual rigor, an innovater in crowdfunded narcissim and ringmaster of her own travelling Jerry Springer show. No matter. The moose matriarch is on the downswing, but her offspring are almost all of grifting age, so soon they will be operating their own three-card monte games in the waiting room of the Wasilla Greyhound station.

by kara on September 19, 2014

I love you, Tina

by kara on September 18, 2014

Irma Bombeck

by kara on September 17, 2014

Imagine for a moment, the uproar if a business refused to serve someone wearing a crucifix around their neck. They do not want their kids growing up in a society where all citizens are treated the same, because in this country, if your religion allows you to selectively interpret thousand-year-old writings to put some people down, then why should the government not enshrine that religious sentiment into law for all the peoples? Unless it’s Sharia law, because that would be terrorism.

by kara on September 5, 2014

from one of my favorite websites, messynesschic

Behind the security grills and dusty shop windows of a neglected building, hides an unlikely secret fashion museum of footwear dating back more than 70 years. And what do you do when you discover a goldmine of untouched vintage shoes? You put it on the internet of course! Reddit member Oktober75 shared photographs documenting the undoubtedly surreal experience of pulling back the cobwebs inside his family’s old shoe store which once upon a time was open for business, from the 1940s until the 1960s.

While from the inside the store lettering is visible, with the sun’s glare and the camouflage of the security gate, it’s pretty much hidden from the street.

[click to continue…]

Dust in the Wind.

by kara on September 4, 2014

Now here’s a thing. Remember how I “reported” on the 9-year-old girl in the pink shorts who killed her shooting “instructor” with a submachine gun, killing him when the fully automatic weapon’s recoil kicked its muzzle toward his head? Well, Bullets n’ Burgers management talked to Mohave County Sherriff’s deputies and provided them with all sorts of useful documentation, except maybe they can’t find the release forms that the girl’s parents signed because the papers were, literally:

“blown away by the wind.”

Sgt. J. described his attempt to get the releases in the report:

investigation 1

Here’s deputy B. Cassidy’s description of his attempt to locate the release forms:

investigation 2

Mighty convenient winds – let’s just call them winds “Sharia” –  they have around those parts. Ironically, the same thing happened to GW Shrub’s proof of WMDs in Iraq. Stupid desert winds!

Why the hell is this business even staying open? I mean, wouldn’t the owner – after helping create a future where a nine-year-old will have to live with having blown someone’s brains out and also have to live (at least for another 9 years or so) with the same obtuse parents who let her play with an automatic weapon like it was a freaking toy - wouldn’t that owner just want to give the thing up, quit, go wander the sands like the desert fathers or maybe find a job polishing slot machines in some off-the-Strip casino and quietly think about things for a few years?But that would require that the owner felt “responsibility” or something, which won’t come until after the settlement, when it will have the word “financial” in front of it.Gun tourism and entertainment; the management probably doesn’t do a lot of soul searching or understand the whole empathy thing. I bet the minute they mopped up afterwards and the sheriff and other investigators cleared the spot they opened up, and didn’t even pause to attend the funeral. Probably talked to the lawyer about bumping the minimum age up a year.

UPDATE: Word at the scene is that the wind whisked that release straight north to Cliven Bundy’s ranch where armed gentlemen and their hefty spouses are denying entry to the authorities.


hey sluts

by kara on September 2, 2014

Who is sick to DEATH as dumbfuck Repubicans not understanding what contraception is? They can not get it through their thick fucking skulls that “The Pill” is not A THING. There are kazillions different oral contraceptives; monophasics, multiphasics, progestin only, estradiol, etc. etc.  on the market and a woman and her health care provider need to figure out which one is the best choice for her (almost said “fit”, but you people are all pervs). Oral contraceptives are not OTC for the same fucking reason antibiotics aren’t, the average consumer has no idea which one is the best for (in this case) her individual needs.

by kara on September 2, 2014

And, in the final hours before the world descended into yet another world war with tensions mounting between East and West and West and Middle East, the world was distracted by pictures of naked celebrities.

We’re officially fucked. This story is going to run and run and serve as a nice distraction from what’s been am abjectly news cycle. I think this is the final part of the World War 3 jigsaw puzzle. We’ve had an economic crisis, a rise in nationalism and xenophobia and increased extremism, we’ve had the wrong kind of non-interventionist policies mixed with the wrong kind of interventionist policies, you know we have the powers that be keeping one eye on the ever dwindling resources, and this morning another American journalist was beheaded by a lunatic in a mask with a sword. There have been periods of stability and instability throughout human history. Economic factors have played a role in causing instability e.g. the Great Depression leading to WWII and the Oil Crisis leading to conflicts in the Middle East. There’s also been a level of instability following periods of excess (the Weimer Republic and the fall of Rome). There are better times to have your little window of existence than others. I’d prefer to be alive now than say during the Black Death but equally it might have been great being alive during the Age of Enlightenment when things were on the up and up. We now have to face up to all sorts of horrible shit like climate change and very possibly another great conflict. In the lottery of human history we cannot complain too much (says I typing on a computer, using the Internet), and now we have a public distracted by tits. Sorry, America, I really don’t care that much.

But to add a little practical suggestion to my apathy about celebrities and their invasion of privacy:

Personally, the advantages of the Cloud always seemed to be outweighed by the risks for any sensitive material. I mean, how often does one need to access one’s own nude pics remotely, on different devices? By all means use it for boring work stuff, but if I had a body anyone was interested in looking at, I’d back it all up at home on a hard drive. This whole silly mess may at least provide a timely reminder of the risk of taking a compromising photo of oneself and then storing and/it communicating it to a third party. This little nugget should help parents explain to their teenagers (was the figure something like 75% who have sent naked pictures of themselves?) about the dangers of sending naked pictures to your partners and ex-partners. At this rate there’s only about 25% of future generations who are not a risk of being blackmailed. Either that points to an ever decreasing pool of competent leaders or a much higher bar for “moral outrage”.

“Reportedly stolen from the Cloud.”Define “deleted”. Everyone who watches true crime shows knows that the delete button does not delete anything, it merely hides it from view, with the ability to be later “undeleted”. There are programs which overwrite the data making “undeletion” impossible, but how many people use these?

“Mary Elizabeth Winstead, another victim, apparently claims that the pics of her circulating in this heist were taken by her husband some years ago and “deleted”.

Methinks, Mary, that not everyone deleted them.”

Season’s Bleatings

by kara on August 30, 2014

Yup, well, if wingnut Christians do anything particularly well it’s persecution fantasies and this obviously well made, not at all cheap bullshit film will be yet another (after “Persecuted”) giant christomasturbation fest. I guess the upshot is if you live in the South and Southwest (no doubt the only regions this film is playing in, oh and Kansas and maybe Chino Hills, CA), your ultra self-satisfied holier than thou asshole neighbors, fellow employees and relatives might disappear for a couple of hours. It’ll be like every normal thinking persons fantasy: The Rapture!

Now, Kirk Cameron’s movie’s not a documentary, but rather a “comedic narrative” that walks a typical Joe Eggnog through a careful debunking of the lies spread by mean-spirited secularists. According to Mr. Cameron:

“It’s a scripted story about a guy named Christian White who represents the typical white Christian male and he’s got a bad case of religious bah humbugs,” Cameron said. “He is just deflating his wife’s entire Christmas party because he has come to believe that everything we’re doing at Christmas to celebrate is wrong.”

Don’t you love that the “script” “writers” thought that it would be a good idea to give the character the name “Christian White” — as if the “actor” playing it wouldn’t make it clear — and then that Cameron thought maybe he’d better explain it, in case the audience doesn’t get it (which is probably a valid assumption). A white Christian male, because this character really speaks to so many of us out here. Should make for a good climactic scene when he finally confronts the movie’s antagonist, a shadowy figure named Muslin Brown. Maybe with help from his buddy, Token Blackfriend.

Of course, Kirk Cameron will not accept payment for this film as that would be crass commercialism of Christmas (NOT a fact).