Now you all know I’m not a religious person, but it’s times like this when I wish there was a God, maybe even THE God that this Bryan Fischer tool believes to be in existence. I wish that when Bryan Fischer died (a horrible, painful, exploding pus-filled fiery rash-covered death), he would meet that God, and that God would punch him in his stupid face before dooming him to an eternity of being skinned alive while splintered branches are shoved up his ass.
I thought in my darkest imaginings, when I heard about the dead AIDS researchers, that some wing-nut(s) would say something like it’s “God’s judgement blah blah blah” the gayz, yadayadayada”, but then I though, “naw, who would be such a fuckhead to do something so depraved?”
Technically speaking, Bryan Fischer and the AIDS researchers who died on that plane are all humans. But what rotten, shriveled, mildewed pulp of acidic fruit does this Fischer guy have in place of a soul? Consider the difference in the world made by those AIDS researchers and Bryan Fischer. Just think about how much the fight against AIDS just lost, relative to the gnarled broken thumb who lived to tweet about it. Bryan Fischer – your continued existence while useful people die is all the proof I need that there isn’t anything like a decent god in this universe.
295 people died on the Malaysian Airlines flight yesterday. A good number of them were on their way to Australia for an AIDS research conference. Some were activists; many were doctors and scientists. And many people aboard the plane were going to vacation in Bali, or Kuala Lumpur and had nothing to do with AIDS or the gayz at all. Yet, every single one of them was a better human being than Bryan Fischer. Every single one of them is still a better human being than Bryan Fischer. Every single one of them is also still contributing more to the betterment of humanity than Bryan Fischer.
So, Lord, I’d like to order a shipment of hellfire and brimstone to be delivered to 107 Park Gate Drive, Tupelo, Mississippi. And if you could put a rush on that, I’d really appreciate it. Or you could just nuke that shit from orbit, which would also work just fine.
Bryan Fischer exists, for now, so that the rest of us don’t forget what major assholes fundamentalist scolds can be. This is God’s Plan. But someday, AIDS will be extinct. So will the Bryan Fischers of the world. All like him, they will be extinct, like the Dodo or the Stellar Sea Cow. This is also God’s plan.
Not even all the AIDS researchers combined can make up for the damage Fundie Neanderthals like Fischer have done in the world. So, while he’s thinking “Good” about those AIDS researchers dying. it’ll be nothing compared to how much better I’ll feel the world will be when his God packs him off to his fiery eternal damnation.
As Mark Twain said, “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter”