by kara on February 7, 2016

The Clusterfuck Caucus.

by kara on February 7, 2016

Sure, these bozos and fuckups can run the country.

Say, 9-year old in the 1970’s: are you tired of blowing regular old, harmless soap bubbles? Looking for something a little more psychedelic, a little more trippy? Something perhaps that will explode your brain cells one by one with poisonous fumes?

Once upon a time there was little company called Wham-O . Wham-O was the sign of a terrific toy. I wanted everything Wham-O. The very name elicited fun. A couple of University of Southern California college graduates began the company in 1948 as “WHAM-O Mfg. Co” in the family garage in South Pasadena. Wham-O.  

One of Wham-O’s most titillating toys  back in the day was something called Super Elastic Bubble Plastic. What a goddam catchy name. Why it’s genius, I tell you. I wanted it. I wanted it bad.

The package was pure insane desire in shrink wrap. Everything about it screamed: I NEED TO HAVE THIS TOY. Just look at it. LOOK AT IT. Could you resist this? This packaging is the pure creative abandon that Wham-O employed with all their toys.  First step, before you do anything else, package the shit out of it. Hire geniuses to make the packing SO enticing, So desirable. Then, if there’s a demand, outsource the production…. if it’s a dud, no problemo – you haven’t wasted money on buying the supplies and equipment yet. This “what the hell” attitude is what gave Wham-O its character and seemingly limitless variety in their product line. They threw shit against the wall and saw what stuck. Super Elastic Bubble Plastic was one of those pieces of shit that stuck

What in holy hell is this shit,  you ask, oh young one?

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All of them Witches

by kara on February 2, 2016


It was funny last week when the pro-lifers’ evil scheme to bring down Planned Parenthood came back to bite them right on their asses. All they ever wanted  was to undermine American women’s access to affordable healthcare so they do not die from lady kinds of cancer. They tried so hard. They stole photographs of stillborn babies. They used stock footage of miscarried fetuses and pretended they were from Planned Parenthood when they weren’t. They made this silly videos –  confirming the goriest fantasies of “pro-lifers” of how the worse-than-Hitler baby butchers were tricking stupid pregnant ladies into not wanting their bouncing joy bundles, carving out babies from unsuspecting wombs, and then chop-shopping them on the black market, for fun and profit and fancy sportscars and drugs – and shopped them all around, even to their bffs in Congress. All for the explicit purpose of trying to stop providing women’s healthcare because ladyparts are gross.

Harris County District Attorney Devon Anderson (a Republican appointed by former indicted Gov. Rick Perry), was given the order –  an unbiased, non-agenda order  – by Republican Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick (a virulently anti-choice cretin),  to git’ them fetus slayers at Planned Parenthood. In a delicious plot twist, instead of doing that, she turned around and refused to find Planned Parenthood guilty, then stunned the court and America but uncovering evidence of all the crimes by the “pro-life” activists. WHA?  But but but, didn’t she even watch those videos??

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Nightmare Lady

by kara on February 1, 2016

How exactly is this woman any different than the crazy homeless lady who stands below my office balcony on Wilshire Blvd screaming her paranoid delusions to horrified people walking by, every Thursday like clockwork.

This is a female human who willingly calls herself a Donald Trump supporter named Susan DeLemus who is scarily a New Hampshire State Representative.

Her completely unhinged rant about about why she planned on voting for Trump is psychotic and rambling and somehow managed to say absolutely nothing. The transcript:

We’ve got people in positions of power who I know for a fact are liars. LIARS. I watch the TV—my president comes on the TV and he LIES to me. I know he’s lying! He lies all the time. I don’t believe any one of them! Not one. I believe Donald. [background: Mm-hm. Exactly.] I’m telling you. He says what I’m thinking! Never been involved in politics, never had an interest in any of it. Now, suddenly, he is resonating. He is resonating with the people and he’s speaking our minds. Our minds! When the “pundits,” and the “experts,” and all the people who are supposed to be “in the know,” and know all this stuff, and they’re so great—I know, some of them, maybe not all, but some of them are lying to me. Straight to my face. And I am so sick of it.

When Sue DeLemus wails about how Trump “says what I’m thinking,” I feel a little terrified.

Susan, you are clinically insane, terrifying, and a confirmation that Donald Trump’s popularity stems from the fact that he is THE voice for paranoid racists who continue to pollute this country with their presence. Kindly commit yourself.

Colonial Germ Warfare Mascot DOA

by kara on January 26, 2016

AMHERST, Mass.Unknown Alas, Lord Jeffery Amherst, the beloved colonial military commander sho helped the British to victory in the French-Indian War, who gave this town its name, will no longer represent the Amherst College. The board of trustees at Amherst College announced on Tuesday that it had decided “not to employ “Lord Jeff” as a campus symbol.

Amherst College was founded in 1821. It was not until the early 20th century that “Lord Jeff” sprang onto the scene as a campus symbol. He was the star of a beloved campus song and, although he was never made an official mascot, many of the sports teams are referred to on the field as the Jeffs or the Lord Jeffs.

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by kara on January 26, 2016

King-BloombergSo billionaire ex New York/Wall Street Mayor Michael Bloomberg is considering running as an Independent. Why would this dilettante with a title, who governed in a mint-camomile mud mask while having his feet rubbed suddenly think about sticking his nose in the race? Because with Hillary moving left, someone has to represent the failed economic and pro-plutocracy ideas that have demonstrably destroyed the country’s economy and made the Democratic Party resented among leftists, I guess?


pix via

American Shitstorm

by kara on January 23, 2016

Welcome to the “new abnormal” of constant and horrific superstorms and other natural/unnatural disasters wreaking havoc on the nation’s worn-out old power grid.

Once the declining reserves of foreign oil stop flowing to America, well, we might as well walk away from our worthless over-mortgaged houses and just set up a tent in the woods. Not like we’ll have jobs to go to, or money to spend on more worthless plastic bullshit. God, capitalist civilization has turned out to be one comical, massive fraud! I’d laugh, if not for the fact that I’ll be there, too, roaming the wastelands wearing hockey pads and an Elmer Fudd hat as I search for gas and pet food, singing “We don’t need another hero.”Anyway, maybe now the right time to join everybody else and strategically default on the cracker boxes we’re all underwater on.

I am here to help you with these problems:

  1. Live in a modestly-sized, well-insulated home.
  2. Use the last of your “consumer credit” to buy some solar panels and a solar hot-water system.
  3. Cut up the cards and recycle the plastic and then recycle your mailbox, because you’re not going to repay these debts or any other debts, ever.
  4. Invest in a low-profile wind-energy generator that’ powered by burning our debased currency.
  5. If you have a pool, drain it and refill it with emergency medical supplies.
  6. Don’t watch teevee.
  7. Read all those book you never had time to read.
  8. Stay warm by dancing and petting your cats.
  9. Round up all the media people and politicians and bank managers and Wall Street executives aka Robber Barons and filthy rich people and dump them all into the (abandoned) corporate sports stadiums. Then they can use all those “dog eat dog” metaphors to stay alive.
  10. Build snow people. Worship it, or not.
  11. Give a hoot, etc.

Re: #Blizzardof2016: As someone who lives in sunny California, where there is no weather…take that, Yankee scum!

Meth Muppet on Meth

by kara on January 22, 2016

Sarah had all of America watchin’ when she went on a terrifying rampage at a Donald Trump rally in Iowa Tuesday. There she was, gobbling up all the USA glory again, soaking in the spotlight like she was 2008’s Moose Queen, USA all over again. Hers was a glorious jumble of minutes, shrieking in such a register that I honestly thouSarah+Palin+2008+Republican+National+Convention+kJBMI4UTKCNlght my cat had gotten trapped in the dryer again. Sarah doesn’t often leave me feeling befuddled, sartorially speaking, but that Trump endorsement jacket has me seriously scratching my head.

Famed in 2008 for her smart, form-fitting power suits, square specs and fierce updos, acquired on the government dime during now famous shopping sprees, the sleek and feminine black pencil skirt and $2,500, cream-colored Valentino jacket she wore as she accepted the vice-presidential nomination, expertly tailored for Palin’s body. There was a  multilayered sartorial strategy that yielded a closet of figure flattering jackets and skirts.


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Remember Sausage Golem Frank Luntz? You remember, the GOP pollster muppet who had a long, storied career of making shit up for GOP candidates, before becoming dillisusioned and wandering off into Hollywood Hills back in 2014, all the years of soaking in the corrosive environment of national politics having left him adrift in an existential midlife crisis?  While I deal with existential crisises by buying a horse, crying to my therapist and/or whining to you, the sad, shlubby middle-aged bachelor/communications genius retreated to his giant mansion, brooding in front of his 2000 inch flat-screen teevee aka the height of pathos.  Well, the Legion of Sociopaths over at Fox News didn’t forget about him, they hired him as an “analyst”. Last week on The Kelly File,  the toad led a discussion with an in-house “focus group,” aka bunch of angry white South Carolinians FN scraped off the street to scare their median-age-74 viewing audience into thinking the gays and blacks are coming to take their stuff, and to ask them why they are “mad as hell,” (Frank’s own words). Weirdly, rather than discuss issues like healthcare costs, income inequality, stagnant wages, or student debt, all we heard about was white whining – the same shit that Fox would  be squawking about if any black people spoke that way about whites. Luntz’s “focus group” turned out to have some incredibly terrible views about all things, dog whistling so hard, my poodle’s head exploded.

Via Crooks and Liars:

“What bothers me the most in this country is that you can’t even speak the truth any more or else you’ll be called a racist or a bigot or any other thing.”…There was significant applause.

“So, political correctness, does that bother you?” Luntz asked, as if in agreement with his focus group member that there’s something wrong in trying not to be racially offensive.

A woman sitting next to the “truthteller” – both in the front row – said, “It bothers me very much.”

Because…” Luntz probed.

“Because I have a right to my opinion without being labeled something. I mean, it’s ridiculous,” she said.


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