At the White House War on Christmas party, American hero Michele Bachmann cornered President Obama so she could give him some final advice about how to be Commander in Chief, since obviously he’s been at a loss and waiting for her to give him a hand. This is literally what went down:
“I turned to the president and I said, something to the effect of, ‘Mr. President, you need to bomb the Iranian nuclear facilities, because if you don’t, Iran will have a nuclear weapon on your watch and the course of world history will change,’” she told the Washington Free Beacon.”
“And he got his condescending smile on his face and laughed at me and said, ‘Well Michele, it’s just not that easy.’ And I said to him, ‘No, Mr. President, you’re the president, it will happen on your watch, and you’ll have to answer to the world for this.’ And that was it and then I left. Merry Christmas,” she said with a laugh.
(photo: The Secret Service allowed another fucking nut to wander the White House?!!! GOT DAMN, it’s time for some heads to roll over those security breaches)
I got a sawbuck says this conversation only happened in the empty receptacle that passes for Bachmann’s skull.
Want to know if it was or was not torture? There’s a real simple way to find out.
Line these fuckers up and subject them to each and every “enhanced interrogation technique”,preferably after you woke them from a dead sleep and dragged them from their bedrooms in front of their families. I assure you, after about 90 seconds, there will be no doubt.
Take a moment to remember where you were and what you were doing today because today, this Black Friday 2014, is likely the last time is the year the Brits have joined the Americans in partaking of the sacred pre-Christmas tradition of lining up outside big box stores to kill each other over $5 DVD players.
The Black Friday madness has spread to the U.K., where shoppers in London were spotted attacking each other earlier today over discounted television sets at an Asda superstore. Asda is a subsidiary of WalMart.
Shoppers wrestle over a television as they compete to purchase retail items on “Black Friday” at an Asda superstore in Wembley, north London.
My favorite story: A group of women brawled over underwear and lingerie at a U.K. Victoria’s Secret, according to this YouTube video:
please don’t read this.
Another mid-term election filled with terrible people and then writing about them in joke form for entertainment. Leading you through the feverish and diseased minds of the wingnuts is a joyless slog. Once again, all the skeletal, ferret faced dim witted fuckheads managed to deceive their way into victory with once again the power of Anglo-populism. You might think more than 30-35% of eligible voters might actually try voting against the assholes that make their lives miserable. But you’d be wrong.I mean, it’s not like you young folks aren’t paying attention. Do you have to go to the library pr to your dad’s encyclopedia brittanica to get your intel? NO, you do not. Only about one quarter of eligible millennial voters — defined as people between the ages of 18 and 29, who grew up during the new millennium — voted in Tuesday’s midterm elections. Millennials are the largest and most racially diverse generation in the country’s history. What is their fckng problem? By 2015, they will make up a third of the electorate, they could swing several races, God help us.You Millennials are gonna have a Rand Paul-flavored “Reagan Youth” moment of libertarianism. Intergenerational tensions are deliberately cranked up by the Powers That Is in exactly the same way and for the same reasons that interracial tensions are: keep all the smalls angry at all the other smalls while you loot their shit, yo.osh-darn that Barack Obama, for being so darn divisive! Americans were getting along so splendidly with each other until he came along! Hey baby boomers and Millennial, shut the fuck up already, we’re trying to make sure the world doesn’t implode because the former set us up with fossil fuel power and the latter need to multiple apple produces to do the thinking for you.