Teen Sleuth

by kara on August 19, 2014

Out of all that argle-bargle about what happened, I have ascertained the following:

Michael Brown, high on pot and rap lyrics, was bum rushing the police officer while simultaneously going for his gun, AFTER being shot five times.

Assuming that Officer Wilson is right handed (like 85% of human race), then his firearm would be holstered on the RIGHT side of his body. Which would mean Michael Brown would have to reach through the vehicles window and ACROSS the police officers body to grab it. Sounds about as likely as a mob informant committing suicide by shooting himself twice in the back of the head. But then again, you should see the talents of Mexican drug cartel informants, they can simultaneously hang themselves and set themselves on fire! Speaking of Mexican cartels, the Ferguson police left Michael laying in the street – sans covering -all day to send the message “you’re next” to the rest of the community.

And the shell casings? AS IF. That’s as if the Ferguson police would have collected and submit spent casings as evidence. All that got collected was thrown in the Mississippi river 8 days ago. When asked about the whereabouts of said evidence, Ferguson Chief of Police plans to blame locals for interfering in the investigation and arrest Mike Brown’s family for tampering with evidence. Justice served!

by kara on August 18, 2014

Racists: Well, he was shot 6 times because he robbed a convenience store.

Reality Check: We don’t know that.

Racists: Well, he got shot because he charged the cop.

Reality Check: With what weapon?

Racists: Well, he was killed because he had pot in his system.

Reality Check: Because everybody knows marijuana makes you so very violent-like.

Racists: Well, he deserved to die anyway because he was a thuggy rapper.

Reality Check: But violent, right-wing, anti-govt nutjobs deserve our understanding and tolerance because…?

Racists: Well, well, well–

Reality Check: Go ahead, say what you really want to say!

Racists: Well, he was a black kid, you know.

Reality Check: Thank you, you late-to-the-game asshole, for your honesty. Now please go fuck yourself.

No, not THAT incident Report.

by kara on August 15, 2014

The Ferguson Incident Report, (no, not the shooting incident report), written four days after Michael Brown was killed, definitely identifies Brown as the suspect, but he was conveniently dead by then.


arrived scene 8-13

Am I reading this thing right? Are they claiming that the time stamp on the tape says the incident took place between 11:52:58 and 11:54:00? But the call (911?) was received at 11:51; officers was dispatched at 11:53 and the responding officer arrived at 11:54? The notion that an officer was dispatched at 11:53, arrived at 11:54, departed at 11:54 to go looking for a kid he found 6 minutes later and shot repeatedly is not particularly easy to digest – especially when the report says the call was dispatched as “stealing” (i.e., petty theft, no mention of robbery or “strong arm”, whatever the fuck that is)*

If Michael Brown was a subject in a robbery, why is it we didn’t hear that on Sunday, when the police first started letting information out? Or Monday? Or Tuesday? Or maybe Wednesday, when the report was finally prepared? Instead, they slipped this all out, by a befuddled bumbling cop, out at the press conference identifying the shooter, and so now, all we are talking about is the mini cigar robbery. Now we just need to know why Officer Wilson found it necessary to shoot a cigar thief while he had his hands in the air. Where’s the fckng incident report on the shooting?

Chief Bumblethumbs said in a press conference that Wilson stopped Brown and Johnson because “they were walking in the middle of the street blocking traffic” Well, that clarifies things even more, don’t it?

*Oh and fucking lazy donut assholes. You put your name on the bottom of every motherfucking sheet. You got to be stickler on the administrative stuff. Otherwise, you may appear to be sloppy and stupid and inept at your job.

by kara on August 9, 2014

Simon Chung, 1976 – 2014



by kara on August 4, 2014

For Jesus said unto the huddled, gathered masses: “Fuck those little children, for they are from the wrong country. And if your fellow man should try to help them remain in these United States, the Greatest Country Ever, take thee to the legislature and ensure it is almost impossible for them to do so. The path into (unto?) the United States is to be difficult for all, except the very rich, or the exceptionally sports gifted, or the very famous, and the meek shall go fuck themselves.”

- The word of our Lord.

Chapter 2: How God Established our Borders.


by kara on July 28, 2014

Joe Biden, Soul Assessor

by kara on July 21, 2014

If you get a chance, read the profile of Joe Biden in the New Yorker today.

Biden’s riff on George W. Bush’s soul-reading performance in 2001 (when the idiot in chief looked deeply into Vladimir Putin’s eyes and got “a sense of his soul“), is genius. Biden tells New Yorker reporter Evan Osnos this anecdote about meeting Putin in 2011:

“As I turned, I was this close to him.” Biden held his hand a few inches from his nose. “I said, ‘Mr. Prime Minister, I’m looking into your eyes, and I don’t think you have a soul.’ ”
“You said that?” I asked. It sounded like a movie line.
“Absolutely, positively,” Biden said, and continued, “And he looked back at me, and he smiled, and he said, ‘We understand one another.’ ” Biden sat back, and said, “This is who this guy is!”

Then there’s another anecdote, back in 1979 when Biden was a young Senator and the son of a Welsh coal miner:

“on one of his first trips to the Soviet Union, he listened to an argument from his Soviet counterpart, and replied, “Where I come from, we have a saying: You can’t shit a shitter.” Bill Bradley, then a fellow-senator on the delegation, later asked the American interpreter how he had translated Biden’s comment into Russian. “Not literally,” the interpreter said.”

Classic Joe.

More classic Joe:

“His smile has been rejuvenated to such a gleam that it inspired a popular tweet during the last campaign: “Biden’s teeth are so white they’re voting for Romney.”

“Joe and Barack were having lunch, and Obama said to Biden, ‘You and I are becoming good friends! I find that very surprising.’ And Joe says, ‘You’re fucking surprised!’

Rolling Coal for Rich Assholes.

by kara on July 20, 2014

a typical house/lawn in hancock park, a los angeles suburb

Hi. How are you? Fine? Well that’s just dandy. Because I am not fine. I  am fucking weirded out and terrified. Did you know it hasn’t rained in Los Angeles in, like, a million years? It’s undergoing the biggest dry spell since prohibition. Southern California water managers are doing such a great job that you would hardly know we are in the midst of the worst drought since record-keeping began in the late 1800s. Most selfish, solipsistic Americans think water shortages only occur in third world distant lands; their faucet will always flow water on command. Maybe because on the surface, our LA’s landscapes look as lush and healthy as Kentucky. Fountains continue to shoot water in great arcs, our cars are freshly washed. This “drought-proofing” of SoCal is giving us a false sense of security. It is exceedingly difficult to convey the urgency of the situation when most everything around us is green.

FACT: we have only enough water in storage to get through the next 12 to 18 months, and that’s it.

Californians has historically  made efforts at water conservation with our mandatory low-flow shower heads and toilets (we got them FREE), front loading washers, no lawns, etc. During the horrendous drought in the early 1990′s, you’d get scolded for leaving the water running when brushing your teeth, and homeowners would roll with it by replacing their lawns with sand dunes, cacti, and decorative cow skulls.

Today, the state’s driest year on record, and no rain in sight, the Dept. of Agriculture declaring a Natural Disaster for 27 California Counties, Gov. Moonbeams having begging us to take whatever steps we can to cut down on our water use and for us to take a moment to think about how we are all connected to each other in a time of water crisis, as well as to the plants and animals that live here….and our usage is going up.

[click to continue…]

God Hates Bryan Fischers.

by kara on July 18, 2014

Now you all know I’m not a religious person, but it’s times like this when I wish there was a God, maybe even THE God that this Bryan Fischer tool believes to be in existence. I wish that when Bryan Fischer died (a horrible, painful, exploding pus-filled fiery rash-covered death), he would meet that God, and that God would punch him in his stupid face before dooming him to an eternity of being skinned alive while splintered branches are shoved up his ass.

I thought in my darkest imaginings, when I heard about the dead AIDS researchers, that some wing-nut(s) would say something like it’s “God’s judgement blah blah blah” the gayz, yadayadayada”, but then I though, “naw, who would be such a fuckhead to do something so depraved?”

Technically speaking, Bryan Fischer and the AIDS researchers who died on that plane are all humans. But what rotten, shriveled, mildewed pulp of acidic fruit does this Fischer guy have in place of a soul? Consider the difference in the world made by those AIDS researchers and Bryan Fischer. Just think about how much the fight against AIDS just lost, relative to the gnarled broken thumb who lived to tweet about it. Bryan Fischer – your continued existence while useful people die is all the proof I need that there isn’t anything like a decent god in this universe.

295 people died on the Malaysian Airlines flight yesterday. A good number of them were on their way to Australia for an AIDS research conference. Some were activists; many were doctors and scientists. And many people aboard the plane were going to vacation in Bali, or Kuala Lumpur and had nothing to do with AIDS or the gayz at all. Yet, every single one of them was a better human being than Bryan Fischer. Every single one of them is still a better human being than Bryan Fischer. Every single one of them is also still contributing more to the betterment of humanity than Bryan Fischer.

So, Lord, I’d like to order a shipment of hellfire and brimstone to be delivered to 107 Park Gate Drive, Tupelo, Mississippi. And if you could put a rush on that, I’d really appreciate it. Or you could just nuke that shit from orbit, which would also work just fine.

Bryan Fischer exists, for now, so that the rest of us don’t forget what major assholes fundamentalist scolds can be. This is God’s Plan. But someday, AIDS will be extinct. So will the Bryan Fischers of the world. All like him, they will be extinct, like the Dodo or the Stellar Sea Cow. This is also God’s plan.

Not even all the AIDS researchers combined can make up for the damage Fundie Neanderthals like Fischer have done in the world. So, while he’s thinking “Good” about those AIDS researchers dying. it’ll be nothing compared to how much better I’ll feel the world will be when his God packs him off to his fiery eternal damnation.

As Mark Twain said, “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter”


by kara on July 14, 2014

from paul krugman’s blog in today’s NYTimes

Chris Christie says that Obamacare is “a failure on a number of levels”. Which levels, exactly?

I mean, first-year enrollment is above projections. The number of Americans without insurance has dropped sharply. Costs appear to be lower than expected, and more broadly cost control on health seems to be doing remarkably well:


To some extent I suspect that Christie is living in the bubble; I keep remembering how Rand Paul was shocked and disbelieving at the proposition that government employment had fallen under Obama, even though all it takes to know that is a quick look at public data.

But it’s not just misinformation; the reality doesn’t matter for Christie, or Republicans in general. Just as tax cuts can never fail, programs that help the unlucky can never succeed.

My thoughts: Christie Christie is not “living in the bubble” — he is employing Cheneyspeak, in which language is not used for communicating facts. Its purpose is to persuade others to join your side. It does not matter what you say, as long as someone can be persuaded by it. In other words, he’s LYING. Pure and simple. Don’t give these guys any benefit of the doubt that they don’t know what’s happening. They can’t admit it and retain any hope of surviving the Republican base’s jungle of ideologically driven hatred for all things Obama; but that doesn’t excuse them for their cowardice in refusing to be open and honest about what they actually do know full well.

So Chris Christie says that Obamacare is “a failure on a number of levels”. Which levels, exactly? I think the answer must be: Federal, state, and local elections for Republican candidates.