Party like it’s 1964

by kara on December 17, 2014

I was so fucking happy this morning, I smiled all the way to work. Y que Viva Cuba!!!! Great day to be an anti embargo Cuban American. Negotiations have been going on since the spring of 2013, that sneaky Bamz, and were backed by the NuPope, which hosted meetings to finalize the agreements. Now we are gonna see The Best Obama, changing the world with the pen, hohoho. Chapeau le President de la Republique! Alas, now, the balance will switch to money, and labor markets, and minimum wages, and pollution. BTW, they have one of the cleanest environments, so let’s go see it now, before it’s gone. Once the Cuban car owners realize the true value of their 1950′s automobiles, they will be able to switch to all electric Tesla’s, so maybe the environment won’t be totally destroyed. Unless, of course, big oil decides they need a new oil refinery. Oh and let’s all go and see it before Christian missionaries descend on the place and fuck it up.

by kara on December 17, 2014

In honor of Stephen Colbert’s last show, let’s relive this wondrous moment in time:

 

Ye Old

by kara on December 14, 2014

Christmas tree at my grandparent’s house, Philadelphia, PA

 

Christmas tree in my childhood home, Wyndmoor, PA

At the White House War on Christmas party, American hero Michele Bachmann cornered President Obama so she could give him some final advice about how to be Commander in Chief, since obviously he’s been at a loss and waiting for her to give him a hand. This is literally what went down:

“I turned to the president and I said, something to the effect of, ‘Mr. President, you need to bomb the Iranian nuclear facilities, because if you don’t, Iran will have a nuclear weapon on your watch and the course of world history will change,’” she told the Washington Free Beacon.”

“And he got his condescending smile on his face and laughed at me and said, ‘Well Michele, it’s just not that easy.’ And I said to him, ‘No, Mr. President, you’re the president, it will happen on your watch, and you’ll have to answer to the world for this.’ And that was it and then I left. Merry Christmas,” she said with a laugh.

(photo: The Secret Service allowed another fucking nut to wander the White House?!!! GOT DAMN, it’s time for some heads to roll over those security breaches)

I got a sawbuck says this conversation only happened in the empty receptacle that passes for Bachmann’s skull.

 

by kara on December 12, 2014

Want to know if it was or was not torture? There’s a real simple way to find out.

Line these fuckers up and subject them to each and every “enhanced interrogation technique”,preferably after you woke them from a dead sleep and dragged them from their bedrooms in front of their families. I assure you, after about 90 seconds, there will be no doubt.

by kara on December 12, 2014

The one true Santa Claus, Wanamakers Philadelphia

by kara on November 28, 2014

by kara on November 28, 2014

Take a moment to remember where you were and what you were doing today because today, this Black Friday 2014, is likely the last time is the year the Brits have joined the Americans in partaking of the sacred pre-Christmas tradition of lining up outside big box stores to kill each other over $5 DVD players.

The Black Friday madness has spread to the U.K., where shoppers in London were spotted attacking each other earlier today over discounted television sets at an Asda superstore. Asda is a subsidiary of WalMart.

Shoppers wrestle over a television as they compete to purchase retail items on “Black Friday” at an Asda superstore in Wembley, north London.

My favorite story: A group of women brawled over underwear and lingerie at a U.K. Victoria’s Secret, according to this YouTube video:

CHEERS!

 

Get off my Lawn

by kara on November 6, 2014

please don’t read this.

Another mid-term election filled with terrible people and then writing about them in joke form for entertainment. Leading you through the feverish and diseased minds of the wingnuts is a joyless slog. Once again, all the skeletal, ferret faced dim witted fuckheads managed to deceive their way into victory with once again the power of Anglo-populism. You might think more than 30-35% of eligible voters might actually try voting against the assholes that make their lives miserable. But you’d be wrong.I mean, it’s not like you young folks aren’t paying attention. Do you have to go to the library pr to your dad’s encyclopedia brittanica to get your intel? NO, you do not.  Only about one quarter of eligible millennial voters — defined as people between the ages of 18 and 29, who grew up during the new millennium — voted in Tuesday’s midterm elections. Millennials are the largest and most racially diverse generation in the country’s history. What is their fckng problem? By 2015, they will make up a third of the electorate, they could swing several races, God help us.You Millennials are gonna have a Rand Paul-flavored “Reagan Youth” moment of libertarianism. Intergenerational tensions are deliberately cranked up by the Powers That Is in exactly the same way and for the same reasons that interracial tensions are: keep all the smalls angry at all the other smalls while you loot their shit, yo.osh-darn that Barack Obama, for being so darn divisive! Americans were getting along so splendidly with each other until he came along! Hey baby boomers and Millennial, shut the fuck up already, we’re trying to make sure the world doesn’t implode because the former set us up with fossil fuel power and the latter need to multiple apple produces to do the thinking for you.

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