In the age-old battle between book and bath, humans have tried many things: the reading tray, the deftly balance towel, the take-your-chances method. An eight-year-old girl genius has solved this conundrum, inventing a simple yet ingenious technique for safeguarding books from falling into the bubbles by suspending the book from the wall. All the device needs is a $4 suction cup from the plumbing aisle at your favorite hardware store. Now if she can invent something similar for the iPad.

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We know our letters just fine, and we know our numbers to a certain point, but books were always the realm of four-eyed poindexters with bowler hats and cravats. That’s why it pleases us so that America’s proud illiterates are finally stepping up and pushing back against the crushing tide of education that threatens to swallow us all into its gaping maw of checked facts. Champions of the Ignorantiat will not like it here.
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