The Mystery of how there are Literally no Limits to the Racism of Conservatives.

original-2First they made Nick Fury black, then Green Lantern black, then gay, then Spiderman Hispanic, then Thor a woman, then they made Ms. Marvel Muslim, then Hermione Granger black, then some guy in the new Star Wars black, and the other Star Wars guy a woman, then ginger Ron Weasley is a blond, then Captain America is black, now also black is Nancy Drew. Titian-haired, lily-white Nancy Drew. It’s almost like they are fictional characters that can be changed willy-nilly at the complete whims of their intellectual property owners!

Yes, some wingnuts are pretty chafed over the fact that there might be a new Nancy Drew teevee program (yahoo!),  wherein the titular character will not, tragically, be white (BOO!), as God intended when He wrote those books. She might be black, she might be  Latino, she might be Asian, but she will NOT BE WHITE. According to the head of the Mystery of  Nancy Drew and the Missing Master Race club Dave Blount:

A civilization is a chain. Each generation is a link. Sever the connection of one link from the preceding link and you have destroyed the entire chain. […]

Sounds like they are preserving a piece of American culture. But the reverse is true.

That’s one argeldybargeldy, wordsalady way of calling New Nancy Drew the  “N WORD”. And the new icky non-white fictional girl detective is being used to “alienate the core population [read: white people] from their own culture.” Ayup. Sorry about your hundreds of years of supremacy, American white people, Nancy Drew is here to kill your asses off.

What if New Nancy Drew be an afro-topped, jive-talkin’ BLACK GIRL? What if the teevee producers wanted to make her Nancy Drewstein or Nancy Drewkavictz? What if they wanted to make her transgender or worse,chubby. blind, or have no legs? Where is it going to end, sheeple??!!

If that’s not racist enough for you, consider Blount’s other remark:

 

Next up: a re-envisioning of the Hardy Boys as illegal immigrants who investigate crimes while navigating the complexities of their homosexual affection for each other. BTW, Hardy Boys books have already been “extensively revised” so as to “eliminate racial stereotypes” according to Wikipedia.

I hate to break it too you, Blount, but Hardy Boys are brothers, so their bromance would be incest, which we all know falls in the category of Right Wing recreational sex. What’s this world coming to, Dave? Wait until you see what the Gay Mafia in Hollywood does to Nancy’s best friend, “tomboy”, George Fayne.

Our skewed ideas of “normal” even seem  dominate our fantasy worlds, don’t they? Our imaginary universes are largely populated with Jedi Knights, Hobbits, Elves, Starks and Lannisters, Witches and Wizards —  the vast majority who are white and Anglo-Saxon. High fantasy is highly homogeneous. It’s fantasy — people can be whatever we imagine — but somehow, they tend to end up like this:

HT_game_of_thrones_joffrey_jef_140428_16x9_608

But don’t call that dopey Dave Blount isn’t a racist, because:

“Try to imagine a famous fictional character in Chinese culture being brought to the screen by execs who decree that she must not be played by a Chinese actress, because that wouldn’t be “diverse.” Impossible. That’s why China will still exist after progressives have finished systematically eradicating America by destroying its identity.”

original-4one of the many, many reasons I hate the beloved movie. Breakfast at Tiffany’s

It’s funny, you know, equating Chineseness with whiteness. “Chinese” is more of a….say… nationality and “white”, well that’s more of a race. Unless, of course,  you’re one of those types who thinks that non-white people aren’t Real Americans. Maybe Dave Blount is one of those guys.

Dave Blount, go fuck yourself with Black Nancy Drew’s magnifying glass. If you guys got to make Jesus and Santa Claus white,  we can make Nancy Drew black.

 

*Thanks to Mike Elias for bringing this very important story to my attention.

 

About kara

We know our letters just fine, and we know our numbers to a certain point, but books were always the realm of four-eyed poindexters with bowler hats and cravats. That’s why it pleases us so that America’s proud illiterates are finally stepping up and pushing back against the crushing tide of education that threatens to swallow us all into its gaping maw of checked facts. Champions of the Ignorantiat will not like it here.
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