The Republican Party is so dumb that their last presidential nominee was a Twilight fangirl. Mitt Romney actually admitted on The Today Show back during the hellfire that was the 2012 presidential election cycle, that he enjoyed the stories about the sexy abstinent vampires from the Twilight series of books and movies.

“I mean, I like the Twilight series. I thought it was fun,” Romney said. “I don’t like vampires personally, I don’t know any, but you know my granddaughter was reading it and I thought, ‘Well this looks like fun,’ so I read that.”

(Mitt went on to say that he was on Team Jacob before he was on Team Edward. Unless you like Jacob, in which case he does too. Has he mentioned that he saved the Olympics?)

So, Mittens was down with a bunch of asexual Mormon vampires. Definitely qualified him for the highest office in the nation. I mean, knowing this, aren’t you more glad than ever that Obama won? I do not know one single adult who would dare to admit enjoying those books. And here I thought that George W Bush was a mental midget for waiting until he was in his 50’s to read The Stranger. W is like Aristotle compared to Mitt.

Didn’t the LDS Church President declare Twilight to be infallible scripture?? Maybe Mittens is just doing his homework. Bonding with lonely 15 year old girls. That’s laying groundwork for another future Mrs. Mittens. Mormons can have oodles of them wives, you know. Besides, Twilight is way more credible than The Book of Mormon. Genius, in a horrible, twisted, pedophilia kind of way. But genius nonetheless.

Call me shallow and a reading elitist, never, but I would ever, never in a million years vote for a man that admits to reading that stuff. I will, however, kick him in the nuts repeatedly, if given the opportunity.