“In this era, during which progress, facts, and science are under unrelenting siege, it is thrilling to remember that even ideologues can love the truth. R.I.P. Dr. Koop.”
via:
Sorry, I wrote that in the middle of the night and it is riddled with typos that I am too lazy to go back and fix.
It’s Sethghazi! The internets is teeming with horrified reports! No, not that Zero Dark Thirty is a joint Hollywood-CIA production that is more domestic PSYOPS than entertainment. No, NOT the rallying around the movie musical Chicago –from ten years ago, that no one cares about, no one is talking about – because it was produced by the guys producing the Oscars. No, it was the host that somehow went beyond the usual awkward imbalance of celebrating and embarrassing a self-indulgent industry in the same show.
Breaking news: White Feminist Female Misses Point, Offended! The Deadline Hollywood lady lorded over a live Oscar night evisceration, sounding like an old man in the balcony that really needed to pee. Nikki Fink, you are a lost cause – you can’t go back and repeat 6th grade at your age without being bullied, so how’s it go, waking up every morning, clutching your pearls, struggling to remain relevant despite being constantly wrong? If Brett Easton Ellis smoking you out of the secret location of your proto-Dalek installation weren’t so entertaining, everything about you would just be sad. When you’ve been physically grafted onto a computer of some kind so as to fulfill your destiny of exterminating what tiny sliver of civility might still exist in Hollywood and make a real-life Hunger Games– and our eventual wholesale demise as both a culture and a species– perhaps then you’ll get your comeuppance for riding powerful people’s dicks like Seth’s into notoriety. Also, please quit your day job.
Joan Didion
Joan Didion’s Packing List:
To Pack and Wear:
2 skirts
2 jerseys or leotards
1 pullover sweater
2 pair shoes
stockings
bra
nightgown, robe slippers
cigarettes
bourbon
bag with: shampoo, toothbrush and paste, Basis soap, razor, deodorant, aspirin, prescriptions, Tampax, face cream, powder, baby oilTo Carry:
mohair throw
typewriter
2 legal pads and pens
files
house keyThis is a list which was taped inside my closet door in Hollywood during those years when I was reporting more or less steadily. The list enabled me to pack, without thinking, for any piece I was likely to do. Notice the deliberate anonymity of costume: in a skirt, a leotard, and stockings, I could pass on either side of the culture. Notice the mohair throw for trunk-line flights (i.e. no blankets) and for the motel room in which the air conditioning could not be turned off. Notice the bourbon for the same motel room. Notice the typewriter for the airport, coming home: the idea was to turn in the Hertz car, check in, find an empty bench, and start typing the day’s notes.
—Joan Didion, The White Album
Now that we’re all destined to become fat sacks of trash, it’s especially important that Americans be able to easily access their beloved scooters. But now that Barack Hussein Nobumer has criminalized being old, in the form of raiding The Scooter Store® for massive amounts of Medicare fraud, it’s death panels for us all after all.
Some dumb Tea Party group sent out an email featuring Karl Rove in a Nazi uniform. BY ACCIDENT! Specifically, “PRINTER ERROR” (silly Tea Party, we know they use carbon copies).
Here it is:
Some say Nancy Grace doesn’t exist, that she is a myth, a story that mothers tell their daughters so that they do not grow up to be Lindsay Lohan. Others know that she is only too real – a monstrous trash-cable crime-porn death-beast, and Living Proof that Satan is real and amongst us.
Nancy Grace is the hawk-faced harpy who routinely makes a carnival show out of what seems to be reckless insinuations of guilt with absolutely no pretense of reasoned argument on her HLN show. She is also the reason I ardently avoid HLN, despite my almost animal need for lurid, pointless pop-crime stories. One wrong channel click and there she is – the unholy hair-helmeted spawn of the Marquis de Sade and Paula Deen – boggled-eyed, staring at me, spewing her bellicose harangues. If I could punch a voice – an angry nasal burn with a tinge of trailer trash.
See that fucking asshole in casual clothing (nice bluejeans, patriot.), the one with the look of a foul-mouthed fuckwad who has to keep his yap shut while being forced to listened to his sworn enemy for two hours – or else he’s shitting his pants again. That’s Ted Nugent (the man who typifies the kind of “straight talk” that Bill O’Reilly thinks the GOP needs to embrace, and who wants to shoot the President), leaning uncomfortably into the aisle at the State of the Union address while everyone else in the pic seems to be having a good time, chatting with friends, etc.- except for the poor lady who has the misfortune of sitting downwind of Mr Shit Pants. The guy doesn’t even own a suit. Sports coat and jeans is the best he can come up with. As I said, he looks like a homeless guy just barely keeping it together.
Whether trolling was to blame for the arrangement to trolling, or simply karmic coincidence, Nuge was seated next to another musician, Pink Martini’s Thomas Lauderdale, described by Gawker as “the anti-Ted Nugent: A liberal, Occupy-Movement-supporting, openly gay civil rights activist who favors gun control and loves classical music.” We are pleased to report that Nugent more or less behaved himself, although twitter reported that the super-patriot did not even “stand and clap for ‘our brave men and women in uniform are coming home.’” But can we really blame him, I’m sure he’d been warned against making any sudden movements.
Highlights of Nugent’s piquant analysis of the SOTU, include faking a yawn, “Does kiss my ass ring any bells?” and “I’m so excited that someone is going to bring about world peace and save the children”,
and the hilarious quip: “Thank God he’s gonna stop global warming, I was starting to get concerned.” Haw-haw!
Nuge also asserted that Rep. Jim Langevin (D-RI), who was paralyzed in a shooting accident, had “Shit for brains” because he was critical of Nugent’s attendance at the address. NBC News’ Luke Russert questioned Nuge about the appropriateness of the comment, aimed at a sitting member of Congress who’s in a wheelchair. Nugent, no stranger to feces, responded that it would take “genuine fecal material instead of brain matter” to suggest that he doesn’t “feel sorry for the victims of violent crime.” This is the same man who requested that many people, mostly ladies, suck on his machine gun. Ted, honey, no one wants to suck on anything you have, literally or metaphorically.
Remember how Nuge was gonna “face down the President”? Kinda hard to do from the very last row. Media stunt fail – the bottle of water was more interesting. Despite predictions that Nugent would be an irresistible attraction to the media, he was not featured in any crowd shots during the speech, and was excluded from immediate post-SOTU coverage.