Journalist, author and McChrsytal Meth antagonizer, the gloriously handsome Michael Hastings, died in a car crash in Los Angeles. He was 33.
I am someone who does a lot of stupid things. I routinely get myself in hot water by blindly rushing into situations. My best friend said I am “attracted to primordial danger”. When I was still drinking and drugging, I did unbelievably and unspeakably stupid and dangerous things. But mostly, I just do stupid things. On a treacherous mountain drive down from Big Bear, I literally jumped out of our moving car after witnessing a horrific accident, running across traffic towards the smoldering wreckage. I got chased away by the cops when I got out of my car and tried to pry a sign off a tree that read “LOOKY-LOOS GO HOME” in Brentwood, following the O.J. Simpson murders.
One night during the heat and hysteria of the 2008 election cycle, my boyfriend came home to find me making signs, one of which – ‘I AM AN IDIOT”, I insisted we hammer into a neighbor’s lawn late that night, in response to his over the top, awful and personally offensive lawn signage.
The term “Dr. Drew”: Dr-oo – (verb) To pretend you’re a doctor on Teevee to fulfill your own perverse desire for attention that is constantly being amplified yet unsatisfied by a life in Hollywood surrounded by actually famous people to the detriment of everyone with whom you come in contact, as well as a disgrace to the medical profession, and a dangerous voice of misplaced authority to your viewers.
DO NO HARM
A charlatan plucked from the primordial ooze of media background noise, Dr. Drew is botoxed, spray tanned, his visage one of permanent concern. His hair is Clairol #672, “The Silver of Foxes.” Dr. Drew is a “celebrity doctor” – not a doctor TO celebrities, a doctor who IS a celebrity. Dr Drew started doling out medical advice on the syndicated radio show Loveline with Adam Corolla 25 years ago, dispensing sex advice to young folks. On Loveline, Dr. Drew received $750,000 from Glaxo Smith Klein for allegedly promoting Wellbutrin for uses not approved by the FDA (increasing libido for one), without revealing himself as a paid spokesperson. ADVICE: I am not a paid spokesman, but anyone purporting to be qualified to give psychological advice is a Big Pharma shill to one degree or another, and those shills, while they may be fluent in the jargon that impresses plebs, are not really the people you should listen to for personal advice.
In a kind of “YOU didn’t break up with me, I broke up with YOU.” situation (we both wanted out, but she left first. Kaa-eyed congress lady Michele Bachmann released a crazy web video announcing that she’s quitting Congress next year.
In a recent 2014 election update, Bachmann was trailing her Democratic challenger for her House seat by two points, from Public Policy Polling:
The survey…shows Democrat Jim Graves leading Bachmann, a four-term congresswoman and former GOP presidential candidate, 47 percent to 45 percent. The results are within the poll’s 4.4 percentage point margin of error.
For a Republican to lose your seat in Minnesota’s most wacked-out conservative congressional district is pretty fucking humiliating. But it is almost corndog season.
Whether Michele Bachmann will live out her remaining days; disoriented and incoherent courtesy of whatever opiate cocktail her “doctor” gives her for her “migraines”; with a Reality TV Show: Hoarding Foster Children; selling t Mary Kay; starting a SuperPAC, go on the speaking circuit, register as a lobbyist, and make more money than all of my friends combined; replace her eyeballs with mirrors (picture this); run away from Ghey-duh-sota straight into the arms of South Carolina, where she can hike the happy Appalachian Trail with other ‘flexible minded’ conservatives, we know one thing: unless she is found early one morning in a dingy Thai hotel room, a victim of Auto Erotic Asphyxiation, Michele Bachmann will be sucking down a fat congressional pension & benefits to go along with the farm welfare she’s been getting for decades.
Looks like the pony is pooping
Another difference between Democrats and Republicans: Democrats see dead soldiers as heroes who had to die tragically because of the imperfection of our country’s policies. Republicans see dead soldiers as minor negative entries on our national balance sheet. They use dead soldiers as props so they can thump their chests and call themselves “patriots” but secretly, they think anyone who serves is a sucker.
You know, the dextro-amphetamine that the Air Force allegedly fed to pilots to keep them fightin’? The potential side effects include psychotic behavior, anxiety, paranoia, aggression, violent behavior, confusion, auditory hallucinations, mood disturbances and delusions. I imagine punch bowls full of this shit on the tables in green rooms. They probably shovel handfuls into their pieholes while they prepare for their stupid show by snorting bath salts and playing with bubble wrap and uber violent video games where they have to defend the US from liberals, minorities, and zombies.
Serious news reporter (above), Andrea Tantaros – one of the however-many hosts of Fox News’ The Five – became so incensed at the Justice Department for investigating one of the network’s reporters that she told her viewers on Thursday to find anyone who voted for President Barack Obama and “punch them in the face.” In one of those savvy responses that earn her the big bucks:
via Marmel.com
