I am a true crime enthusiast, but NOT a trial junkie. I loathe lawyers, the courtroom, courtroom dramas, etc. I know from extensive 48 Hours Mystery and Dateline watching, that after the exciting detective work is done, the ensuing courtroom dramas are not “dramatic” at all. They are sparsely attended bore fests of mind numbingly tedious and redundant testimony, legalese and private sidebars in claustrophobic and sterile depression dens. Fictional courtroom dramas both bore me and make me tense. That’s why I like Law and Order Criminal Intent. The shows ends before you get anywhere near a courtroom. Who needs a courtroom when Detective Goren is himself, Judge, jury and executioner?
That faux-tough-talker, “Judge Judy” makes me want to vomit, and the alarmingly loathesome Nancy Grace makes me want to stick forks in my eyes, and ears. Flying in the face of all that, I’ve been following the Casey Anthony trial, going to far as to live stream it on the internet at work.
Yesterday after recess, the courtroom doors swung open dramatically to reveal a quivering, scrawny dude in a purple and green checkered shirt and a wide knit tie. He was led to the podium to face Judge Belvin Perry. For those of us who have been watching Judge Perry conduct his courtroom for the past few weeks, we knew this wasn’t going to be good.
To sum up, 28-year-old Matthew Bartlett, a mere spectator watching the trial from the peanut gallery, flipped the prosecutor the bird. Cameras in the courtroom – that I presume Mr. Bartlett was not aware existed – caught it on tape, a local TV affiliate notified court officers, who notified Judge Perry, who had Bartlett hauled out of the courtroom.
When jurors left for the day, young Mr. Bartlett was brought back before the judge – as well as millions of TV viewers – and forced to answer a slew of humiliating questions like is he knew the meaning of “the extension of the middle finger”, “can you read?” and “where do you work?” (TGI Fridays). Judge Perry asked these questions with a spooky calm, making it crystal clear that he was about to make this dummy’s day really awful — and that he was going to do so with his customary grace, dignity and decorum.
Perry: “By pointing your middle index finger, which you told us is the ‘f-word,’ to Mr. Jeffrey Asthon, who was at the podium at the time in open court while this court was present, can you tell me any reason why you should not be held in contempt of court, sir?”
Bartlett: “I’m truly sorry for doing this. This was something stupid. I’m not sure why I even did it. I just apologize. I don’t understand why I did it.”
Perry: “Well, there was a reason why you decided to extend Mr. Ashton the courtesy of flipping him your index finger. Was he saying something that you disapproved of or did you think that highly or lowly of Mr. Ashton?”
And so on. The man squirmed, repeatedly calling himself stupid and apologizing. Perry asked him whether he could read and write, whether he, at 28, still lived with his parents and what he did for work:
Bartlett: “TGI Fridays”.
Perry: “Which Fridays is that”? (we all now know where the good judge likes to chill apres court).
Bartlett: “The Millennia Mall”.
Perry: “Mm hmm”.
Then, as the world watched, Perry ordered the stunned Fridays Server under arrest for contempt of court, cuffs were slapped on him, he was sentenced to six days in the county pokey and levied a fine and court costs equaling $623. Wanting to make sure the Fridays guy would be fairly represented in the appeal process, Judge Perry immediately took sworn testimony from him to determine the condition of his finances and whether he qualified for a court-appointed attorney:
“Raise your right hand,” said Judge Perry. “Oh, that’s right. You can’t raise your right hand.”
The Friday’s Server who had so confidently flipped off the lead prosecutor just moments before, now stood, in shackles, before the world, announcing that he was a server at TGI Fridays and that he had $160 in his checking account and $12 in savings.
Judge Perry appointed him a lawyer, suggested an installment plan for paying the fine, and TGI Friday’s own Matthew Bartlett was led off to jail.
Bartlett had been attending court with his fiancee and two TGI Fridays co-workers. Mr Bartlett’s fiancee told a WOFL News reporter that he had felt that Miss Anthony was not getting a ‘fair shake’.