This is primo comedy. A chisel-faced beauty contestant – “Miss Louisiana” – Brittany Guidry was asked to weigh in on the exchange of five Taliban detainees for Army Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl during the question-and-answer portion of Sunday’s Miss USA Pageant.
“The U.S. policy is to leave no solider behind. Do you think it’s fair to sacrifice or swap lives to uphold this policy?” asked a judge – the guy who played mullet-headed, test-cheating, date rapey, D student Steve Sanders on Beverly Hills, 90210.
“I am glad that we got our guy back. However, I do not feel it is right that we subject ourselves to these acts of terrorism. I do agree with our guy being back but, however, I do not think we should subject ourselves.”
The hillbillies in the crowd went wild for Guidry’s response, hootin’ and hollerin’ their appreciation,a nd yet I’m honestly not sure what she thought she was saying. Do morons communicate telepathically now, making intelligible speech unnecessary? Brittany’s against us subjecting ourselves to terror. Did you guys hear that? That is a brave stand for someone so young. and pretty. and brave. And she only came in third! Third runner-up is really like fourth place, right? Like ”Honorable Mention.” Or that smiley face they give kids in grade school so they don’t destroy their fragile self-esteem in one day?
Brittany, sweetie. Do I need to have to explain how this works to you? You can’t have it both ways. Whenever you negotiate the release of US captives with the enemy, you are “negotiating with terrorists.” Otherwise you have left soldiers behind on the battlefield. The only way to free POWs is to offer something for them in detailed negotiations. Period.
For example:
John Adams and Thomas Jefferson, 1785 – negotiated with Barbary Pirates and Morrocan/Libyan emirs for the release of U.S. sailors
McKinley, 1898 – negotiated POW release with Spain and with Cuban insurgents
T. Roosevelt, 1902 – Negotiated amnesty for Filipino insurgents who resisted US occupation
Taft, 1908 – Negotiated with Filipinos who rejected US occupation, created “policy of attraction” to win ’em over
Eisenhower, 1952 – Negotiated POW release (including deserters) with North Korea
Nixon, 1973 – Negotiated POW release (including deserters) with Viet Cong
Ford, 1974 – Negotiated prisoner release with Viet Cong
Reagan – Negotiated hostage release with Iranian terrorists (1981); negotiated hostage release with Hezbollah terrorists (1985); negotiated with TWA Flight 847 hijackers (1985), negotiated release of mercenary convicted of supplying arms to Nicaraguan contras (1987)
GHW Bush, 1990 – Negotiated POW release with Saddam Hussein
W Bush – paid $300k ransom to radical Islamist group in the Philippines to release American missionaries (2001); negotiated with the Taliban to improve national security conditions in Afghanistan (2008)
But I suppose this is waaaay too much information to scribble with a Sharpie on your palm.
I asked my dog Nancy for her opinion. She gave a more coherent answer. “He’s an American soldier”, she said, “so he’s worth more than 5 other guys and he probably has a dog who misses him, a lot.”