{"id":14289,"date":"2013-09-24T14:52:26","date_gmt":"2013-09-24T22:52:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/?p=14289"},"modified":"2013-10-21T16:33:02","modified_gmt":"2013-10-22T00:33:02","slug":"when-underpants-are-outlawed-only-outlaws-will-have-underpants","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/?p=14289","title":{"rendered":"When Underpants are Outlawed, only Outlaws will have Underpants."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

It’s Banned Books Weeks <\/span><\/a>again, the saddest time of year when the American Library Association helps us celebrate literacy’s fight\u00a0against the censorious white people who make it their business to make sure all the rest of us are protected from BAD BOOKS. Not badly-written <\/em>books, of course \u2014 those are doing just fine<\/span><\/a>. I’m referring to<\/span><\/span> the<\/span> books that make some people nervous, like those that might include a bad word or a reference to “sex.” Not infrequently, the list includes some really good books, like\u00a0The Grapes of Wrath <\/em>(burned in East St. Louis, and banned many other places) or\u00a0Slaughterhouse-Five <\/em>( burned in North Dakota and banned in 2011 from a high school in Missouri), Of Mice and Men, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter,<\/em> the list goes on and on, and there really is no rhyme or reason so don’t try to find one.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

This year\u2019s list of the\u00a0ten most-challenged books <\/span><\/a>has a new #1…….shit’s about to get real….the entire\u00a0Captain Underpants <\/em><\/span><\/a>series. Captain. Freaking. Underpants. It’s three levels ahead of 50 Shades of freaking Grey.<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a> <\/em><\/p>\n

A hugely popular goofy superhero parody for the 12 and under set and now the Ulysses of the fourth grade set, the Captain Underpants<\/em> books are lousy with poops, poots, toots, boogers, toilets and the word underpants<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Apparently, the Waistband Warrior is so\u00a0threatening to all that is decent and holy that he had to be removed from libraries nationwide. The censorious prigs claim they contain \u201coffensive language\u201d and are \u201cunsuited for [their] age group.\u201d Now as any well-meaning bookworm Aunt of a ten-year-old boy who was reluctant to read knows, these are exactly<\/em> suited for the age group… an honest complaint might be that they\u2019re\u00a0suited entirely too well<\/em> to their age group. That is why I bought the, for my <\/em>nephew.\u00a0Also, some parents object to the obviously deliberate misspellings in the main characters\u2019 hilarious, homemade comic books, because they fear that their precious little budding brainiacs will be tainted by loose standards \u2014 a complaint that no longer seems to dog\u00a0Huckleberry Finn.<\/em><\/p>\n

You know, the real difference between the prudish conservatives of today and and yesteryear is that they are no longer afraid of looking fcking stupid. Also, yhey’ll take my underpants when they pry them from my cold, dead ass.<\/p>\n

\n
I would cry, but I am sitting here imagining the new generation of wingnutz trying to burn their kid’s kindles and laugh and laugh.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s Banned Books Weeks again, the saddest time of year when the American Library Association helps us celebrate literacy’s fight\u00a0against the censorious white people who make it their business to make sure all the rest of us are protected from … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-14289","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-banned-books"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14289","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=14289"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14289\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":14420,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/14289\/revisions\/14420"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=14289"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=14289"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/hauntedlibrary\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=14289"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}