{"id":35231,"date":"2018-02-23T12:45:27","date_gmt":"2018-02-23T20:45:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/?p=35231"},"modified":"2018-02-26T17:00:17","modified_gmt":"2018-02-27T01:00:17","slug":"we-get-it-youre-sexy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/?p=35231","title":{"rendered":"We get it, you’re sexy."},"content":{"rendered":"

She spent the better part of her career trying to out sexy everybody else. Then it all came crashing down on the national stage at the NBA all star game.\u00a0<\/a><\/p>\n

Every American wants the same thing from the pre-game national anthem. Clear, in-tune, over quickly. No frills, no off-script, no warbling. On-and-out and onto the main event as quickly as possible. We want the song portion of the sporting event out of the way. If we had to have any anthem on Monday night, we wanted Whitney Houston’s Super Bowl performance, t<\/a>en days the US commenced the first major military action of the post-terrorism age. Whitney stood on the 50-yard line in a casual white tracksuit with red and blue stripes and sneakers, her natural curls pulled back in a wide headband, looking more like an Olympic athlete than a bonafide pop star.\u00a0It was soulful, supremely confident, and rousing. As she hit the final climactic high note\u2014an E-flat above middle C\u2014on the word \u201cfree,\u201d four F-16 fighter jets performed a ceremonial fly-by in the skies above. In a shitty moment for our country and the world, It was a moment of unforgettable drama and pride.<\/p>\n

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Onto Sunday’s All–Star game, and another tense and horrific period in American life. Less than one week after one of\u00a0deadliest school shootings in modern American history. One year into a presidency of a monstrous Horror Klown – certainly the most grievous blow that the American Idea has suffered in my lifetime – who has publicly said about (primarily) Afrian American pro athletes:<\/p>\n

\u201cWouldn\u2019t you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, \u2018Get that son of a bitch off the field right now, out, he\u2019s fired. He\u2019s fired!\u2019”<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

It is February, 2o18, and we are intertwined with desolation and decay. Children are being slaughtered in school. Racism has run amok, seeping into even the holiest corners of American life (sports). To paraphrase Trump\u2019s famous campaign appeal to African American voters: With their lives and communities in such ruin, what the hell did they have to lose? Basically, his past week, in its\u00a0slow-motion calamity, is what becomes of the bitterness and dull horror of American life.\u00a0in a time of. \u00a0We are looking for any sign of relief from society\u2019s imminent collapse, that those of us unprepared for our post-apocalyptic future are destined to die alone in the street<\/p>\n

Fergie had a momentous opportunity.And she decided to go back to the sexy well.<\/p>\n

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She couldn’t just sign it. No, of course not. She had to go there. She had to inject the stupid anthem nobody wants to sit through with strange inflections, a growly baby voice, and bizarre vocal gymnastics, dragging it out and creepily trying to seduce America with the war song. A strange and sad app tempt at achieving Marilyn Monroe singing Happy Birthday to JFK status. Just a total misfire in conception and execution.<\/p>\n

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Fergie seems to have spent much of her professional career talking about her sex life, how well endowed her actor husband was, her locked closet of Supergirl and Ninja Pirate sex costumes.<\/p>\n

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Their published wedding photos….were from the wedding night. Who else would you invite the photographer back to the hotel for some wedding night photos.<\/p>\n

“He just dances for me in private, in some very interesting outfits,” Fergie revealed to Playboy<\/em>. “He bought me these amazing boots at the Hustler store. They’re thigh-high patent leather with a big long zipper. They’re hard to get on, but it’s worth it!”<\/p>\n

The theme with Fergie and Greenlee’s tall boyfriend <\/a>was so over the top that when her marriage fell apart, the media –\u00a0US Magazine infairly\u00a0<\/a>insinuated that it was due to his being the product of a large, “healthy” midwestern childhood with focus on “family” <\/em>and she “just wasn’t into\u00a0<\/em>that lifestyle because she didn\u2019t have a “normal childhood” like he did.<\/p>\n

“So as Duhamel stressed over recreating his Midwestern upbringing for Axl \u2014 \u201cHe tries very hard to make sure he\u2019s brought up as normal as possible,\u201d says the source \u2014 he\u2019d get annoyed when Fergie didn\u2019t follow suit. \u201cHe felt she wasn\u2019t doing normal mom activities,\u201d explains the source, \u201cand that made Josh frustrated.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This should enrage any successful, independently successful woman.\u00a0Just because one’s expression of sexual freedom doesn’t look like another doesn’t mean one is “wrong”and another is “right”. But…let’s take a \u00a0look at Fergie’s 2016\u00a0music video aimed at “empowering women:\u00a0MILF$<\/a>,\u201d (someone may have suggested that adding a dollar sign to an tired, sexist acronym is probably not doing anything useful for women). In MILF$, a preternaturally cute milkman stumbles into a chimeric and entrenchedly middle-class land called \u00a0\u201cMilfville,\u201d where strong women – such as Kim Kardashian, Ciara, Gemma Ward, Chrissy Teigen, and Alexandra Ambrosia – join Fergie for yoga and yard work. This\u00a0intersectional subversion of a Stepfordian fantasy where women dominate both professionally and<\/em> domestically, but only if you are an over the top gorgeous celebrity women.<\/p>\n

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