{"id":28415,"date":"2014-06-21T12:21:20","date_gmt":"2014-06-21T20:21:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/?p=28415"},"modified":"2014-06-29T17:31:00","modified_gmt":"2014-06-30T01:31:00","slug":"they-came-for-the-promise-of-tiny-obamaphones","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/?p=28415","title":{"rendered":"They came for the promise of tiny Obamaphones"},"content":{"rendered":"

If we weren’t God’s chosen nation, I’d probably be disturbed by all this. You know, the\u00a0crisis of little children sent by their anguished, desperate parents alone to America? \u00a0The “unaccompanied minors flooding into the nation by the thousands and then getting locked in tiny baby jails\u201d? Big Bamo Kenyan HighChief sent out a telepathic message calling all his fellow foreign brown people to start to flooding the heartland. And flood it they have! Real America Virginia is inundated with these small scary monsters, and the Good ChristiansTM there are not happy.<\/p>\n

Over 1,000 angry residents of the small, rural Southern Virgnia tobacco belt town gathered at a High School to shriek at local, state, and federal government officials for offering the St. Paul\u2019s College building as temporary emergency shelter for 500 unaccompanied alien children (UAC\u2019s) coming from Texas.<\/p>\n

The government had brokered a deal with St. Paul\u2019s College – a historically black college which was founded after the Civil War to educate black men and women in the segregated South was closed five years ago after losing its accreditation – \u00a0to house up to 500 children in dormitories.<\/p>\n

Nice resident, Aaron Smith\u00a0told administration officials at a public meeting this week that the community did not want to become the location of a large illegal immigrant shelter. OR:<\/div>\n
\n
\u201cWe talk slow around here and with a twang. But we say what we mean,\u201d he said. \u201cLet me talk straight into your eyes: We don\u2019t want you”.<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n
\n

Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses….except you Messicans. And you, with the turban. And don’t think I don’t see you Irish waitress! If you ain’t rich, get out! Why not\u00a0do what they do in Texas, \u00a0make the brown babies watch episodes of Duck Dynasty until they\u00a0turn <\/em>white.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

Perhaps if the little brown babbies came packaged in tiny little placentas and uteri they would then be acceptable?<\/p>\n

One nice resident lady, Pam Thomas, said:<\/p>\n

\u201cRight now we have a town \u2014 I can go home. I can get supper. At 9 o\u2019clock at night I can come back to my office by myself go in there and do work, come out at 11:30 get in my car and never worry about being harmed. I can\u2019t do that anymore if y\u2019all come. You can\u2019t put them over there and it\u2019s not a prison anymore. It\u2019s a closed facility.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

I’ve read what Pam Thomas said half a dozen times and the last two sentences are still stumping me. Does anyone here speak fluent Bigotbargle and would you be willing to translate? Step aside people, I speak wingtard!!!\u201cYou can\u2019t put them over there and it\u2019s not a prison anymore. It\u2019s a closed facility.\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

PAM THOMAS is envisioning marauding hordes of 7-year-olds carjacking her. How is she going to have her affairs now if she can’t go to “work” until 11:30? Hmmmmmm? Oh, this is serious! Someone attach her hoverround XL15 to a large catapult and launch her into the sea.<\/p>\n

Listen up, the good people of Virginia don\u2019t want you putting the brown babies in baby jail. Oh, wait, let us clarify: they don\u2019t want you putting the brown babies in baby jail in their town. <\/em>Besides, Jesus never said anything about helping homeless <\/em>children.<\/p>\n

What if thos kiddos looked more like these immigrant kiddos:<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Alas, the young ‘uns are from Honduras, Guatemala and Costa Rica and are future Democrats.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If we weren’t God’s chosen nation, I’d probably be disturbed by all this. You know, the\u00a0crisis of little children sent by their anguished, desperate parents alone to America? \u00a0The “unaccompanied minors flooding into the nation by the thousands and then getting locked in tiny baby jails\u201d? Big Bamo Kenyan HighChief sent out a telepathic message […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-28415","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28415","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=28415"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28415\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28512,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/28415\/revisions\/28512"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=28415"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=28415"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=28415"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}