{"id":27075,"date":"2014-04-07T19:50:40","date_gmt":"2014-04-08T03:50:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/?p=27075"},"modified":"2014-04-07T19:50:40","modified_gmt":"2014-04-08T03:50:40","slug":"actual-elected-official-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/?p=27075","title":{"rendered":"Actual Elected Official."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

This is Allen Quist, \u00a0a retired political science professor, who helped \u00a0Michele Bachmann win election to the state Senate in 2000. Allen Quist is a 70-year old soybean farmer, gay bathhouse troll who loves dragons and believes that humans and dinosaurs may have coexisted in Southeast Asia as late as the 11th century.<\/p>\n

Quist was the 2012 GOP candidate for Minnesota\u2019s District 1 seat in the House of Representatives. His platform and ideology bears a close resemblance to Bachmann’s – an enormous family and a love-hate relationship with modern science. In the 1990s, the power duo of Bachmann\/Quist worked to take down Minnesota’s state curriculum standards, a gateway to a totalitarian society built on moral relativism. Quist has the distinction of helping facilitate Bachmann’s rise to power.<\/p>\n

The Queen lunatic endorsed Quist while noting that in her opinion, the former state representative is a man of:<\/p>\n

\u201cINTELLECTUAL FIREPOWER\u201d<\/strong><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Okay, Michele, let’s start with some of Quist\u2019s prior accomplishments:<\/p>\n

\u201cDuring his time as a state representative, Quist\u2026went undercover at an adult bookstore and a gay bathhouse in an effort to prove to a local newspaper reporter that they had become a \u2018haven for anal intercourse.\u2019\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Taking one for the team, as it were.<\/p>\n

Quist lists himself as Adjunct Professor of Political Science at a religious college in Minnesota, the designated field of expertise for wingnuts interested in dinosaur-themed creative writing. One section of an online curriculum supplement written by Quist asks this leading question:<\/p>\n

\u201cDid dinosaurs and people live at the same time, and why do so many recently discovered ancient art works accurately picture dinosaurs?\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Yes, yes they did:<\/p>\n

\u201cThe only reasonable explanation for the stegosaurus carved in stone on the wall of the Cambodian temple is that the artist had either seen a stegosaur or had seen other art works of a stegosaur. Either way, people and stegosaurs were living at the same time.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

(Elsewhere, Quist provides scientific evidence for the existence of dragons, and suggests that the Book of Job be taught as a science lesson: \u201cToday we know beyond a reasonable doubt\u2014Job 41 is a picture-perfect description of SuperCroc”.)<\/p>\n

Okay, basically, here is how Time <\/strong>works.<\/p>\n

There is The Past, <\/strong>which is everything between Ronald Reagan’s election and now, or else my birth and now, which ever happened first.<\/p>\n

Then there is Olden Times,<\/strong> which is everything that happened in the olden days, between the Crucifixion of Jesus and Reagan’s election or my birth, whichever happened later.<\/p>\n

Before that there is Prehistory,<\/strong> which is everything that happened between God creating the universe and Jesus’s Crucifixion.<\/p>\n

The latter two categories all happened at once, and without years or dates or any of that because it’s all kinda vague and anyway were you there?<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is Allen Quist, \u00a0a retired political science professor, who helped \u00a0Michele Bachmann win election to the state Senate in 2000. Allen Quist is a 70-year old soybean farmer, gay bathhouse troll who loves dragons and believes that humans and dinosaurs may have coexisted in Southeast Asia as late as the 11th century. Quist was […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27075","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27075","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=27075"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27075\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":27095,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/27075\/revisions\/27095"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=27075"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=27075"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=27075"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}