{"id":18644,"date":"2013-03-25T22:05:35","date_gmt":"2013-03-26T06:05:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/?p=18644"},"modified":"2013-03-26T06:41:01","modified_gmt":"2013-03-26T14:41:01","slug":"what-the-hell-is-wrong-with-michele-bachmann","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/?p=18644","title":{"rendered":"What the hell is wrong with Michele Bachmann?"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/a>\"\"\"\"<\/a><\/a>\"\"<\/a>\"\"<\/p>\n

Drugs? Borderline Personality Disorder? Repressed Abuse? Alien invasion? What the fuck is it? Maybe America\u2019s Craziest Legislator Michele Bachmann (R-Circular Ruins) is just a useful tool for the party as a sideshow attraction while the big crime is going on. because when someone is flapping their arms and looking hysterical you can sometimes ignore the presence of that hand slipping away with your wallet.<\/p>\n

Despite the advantages of a fanatical national following, Ol’ Crazy Eyes might be on the verge of\u00a0 a take down<\/a><\/strong> \u2014 not by the guys with the butterfly nets, but by the Office of Congressional Ethics, who’s investigating her campaign for improprieties. This must be a real shock for her, that more than one person is finally calling her on her complete and utter bullshit. It’s taken far too long for anyone to say “Enough, you fucking witch”.<\/p>\n

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I know you all feel a lot safer knowing that our government officials are very capable of keeping an eye on our enemies, both foreign and domestic. And I know when you think “Michelle Bachmann”, you think “Intelligence Committee”, right? \u00a0Narrowly reelected to what had been a safe House seat after abandoning her calamitous presidential run, Bachmann returned to Congress\u00a0diminished. But\u00a0Old Boner\u00a0reappointed the Minnesota harpy to the House Intelligence Committee.\u00a0Michele Bachmann being on the Intelligence Committee is just part of the regular Orwellian double-speak. “Intelligence Committee”, “Patriot Act”, “Clean Coal”, “Pro-Life”, “Compassionate \u00a0Conservatism” and \u00a0“Right to Work”.\u00a0I’m pretty sure she was appointed to the House Intelligence Committee to make the rest of the members appear intelligent. Not an easy task by any means, but Bachmann came through with flying colors.<\/p>\n

Michele’s on the committee to pursue her specialties: Whether Jesus married Mary Magdalene and emigrated to France; whether Edward DeVere wrote Shakespeare’s plays; what happened to the gold of the Knights Templar; the Area 51 coverup and who brought down WTC 7. You know — anything that might be the subject of hack conspiracy theorists. Like what, you say?\u00a0You know \u2014 like accusations that\u00a0Hillary Clinton\u2019s aide Huma Abedin <\/a>was maybe a Muslim Brotherhood spy<\/span><\/a><\/strong>,<\/em> no biggie, and that the\u00a0Muslim Brotherhood is infiltrating the US government<\/span><\/strong><\/a>,<\/strong><\/span> that\u2019s all. NBD. Bachmann is very, very concerned with how this Muslim person could have security clearance. Michele\u00a0Bachmann is questioning how someone else got a security clearance. If \u00a0there was any more irony here, I could throw out my garment steamer. Michele Bachmann’s\u00a0clearly Islamophobic stance makes her position on the “Intelligence” committee, with its oversight of the National Security Agency and CIA\u2019s activities, kinda…troubling.\u00a0Troubling to\u00a0Commies,<\/em> maybe.\u00a0Shrugging off criticism from GOP leaders in Congress, Bachmann broadened her allegations of Islamic infiltration in the U.S. government to include [the Muslim American] Democrat Keith Ellison of associations with the “Muslim Brotherhood.” \u00a0Given all the people trying to protect Abedin from both sides of the aisle, it’s obvious that Bachmann is on to something and the infiltration is even deeper than any of us could have imagine.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

There’s something more than mere craziness in those eyes. Something dark and as old as the world itself.\u00a0But mostly it’s craziness.\u00a0If the voting public is stupid, racist and crazy, the successful modern candidate will also be stupid, racist and crazy.<\/p>\n

All her bizarre claims, that helped make her reputation in the first place, are being increasingly swatted down by her fellow Republicans. She was even been\u00a0called out by Bill O\u2019Reilly<\/span><\/a><\/strong> for \u201ca trivial pursuit\u201d after her insane CPAC speech during which she blabbered on about President Obama\u2019s\u00a0\u201clavish\u201d lifestyle<\/a><\/strong>“<\/strong><\/span>. There were the mythical\u00a0five chefs who fly on Air Force One and the mythical \u201cPresidential Dog Walker\u201d. For the record, I\u00a0am shocked, SHOCKED, that it took Michele Bachmann this long to fix her psychotic gaze upon Bo, the White House dog. When called on her lies, Bachmann slut shamed a CNN reporter, chastising\u00a0her<\/em> for daring\u00a0to bring up something so insignificant as the White House Dog Walker \u00a0– the presidential Dog Walker that Michele Bachmann conjured up in the first fucking place – when the president is busy murdering the entire diplomatic corps.<\/em> Then she dashed off, stage left.<\/p>\n

It’s been pretty awesome watching the party that enabled her crazy bullshit all these years suddenly turn on her. But I won’t be really happy until Bachmann, Goehmert, and Steve King are forced to fight lions gladiator-style in the pit of the House to retain their seats.<\/p>\n

During the GOP primaries, Bachmann was so consistently divorced from reality that the Associated Press simply threw up its hands and decided it\u00a0couldn\u2019t possibly fact-check everything<\/span> she said.<\/span><\/strong><\/a> At a National Press Club panel, Jim Drinkard,\u00a0the editor who supervises fact-checking for the AP, acknowledged that Bachmann\u2019s bullshit often piled up to insurmountable levels:<\/p>\n

\u201cWe had to have a self-imposed Michele Bachmann quota in some of those debates.\u201d<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

She gave a mind-spinning,\u00a0a reality-challenged rant on the House floor, calling for the repeal of the Affordable Care Act \u201cbefore it literally <\/em>kills women, kills children, kills senior citizens”.<\/p>\n

A former Bachmann staffer,\u00a0Barb Heki alleges that onetime state campaign chairman and state Senator Sorenson stole from her\u2014and then used with Bachmann’s knowledge\u2014an email list of Christian homeschool<\/p>\n

families in Iowa. Heki\u2019s accusation has been backed by\u00a0a sworn affidavit<\/span><\/a> <\/strong>by former campaign staffers.<\/p>\n

Michele Bachmann recently made a bizarre assertion bout how 70 percent of food stamps go to “bureaucrats” \u2014 based on the misinterpreted work of some libertarian Cato Institute crackpot.\u00a0Fun Fact: 100% of the govt. money Bachmann gets for her 35 foster kids is spent by govt. bureaucrats (in this case Michele Bachmann.) And her bogus farm subsidies, too.\u00a0Who here thinks monies going to administrators is as offensive as $259,000 in commodities and disaster subsidies being paid to the Bachmann Farm Family LP, or her husband\u2019s psychotherapy practice and clinic receiving $30,000 to train his employees to scream at people into giving up their fanciful delusions that they are gay?<\/p>\n

She’s like a B-movie monster who pop ups again and again to threaten a terrified populace, no matter how many salvos of facts and rationality get lobbed at her. Shrieking about\u00a0how our dastardly Usurper murdered our Libyan ambassador in BENGHAZIIIIIII.\u00a0Embarrassments have become routine as she tries to forcibly reinsert herself into the national debate.\u00a0Whenever she is confronted with her nonsense by the lamestream media, her answer is: “Hey, I’m just asking questions, here”.\u00a0Did Mitt Romney officiate at secret Mormon services commemorating the 1857 Mountain Meadows Massacre?\u00a0Did Dick Cheney keep actual men in the man-sized safes in his VP office?\u00a0Did George W. Bush and Condoleezza Rice play Twister on the Oval Office carpet?\u00a0Hey, I’m\u00a0just asking questions here.<\/p>\n

The demands to have Bachmann removed from the intelligence committee aren\u2019t because she is stupid – there are plenty of other stupid people doing incredibly important things these days, (see: the Committee on Science, Space, and Technology<\/span><\/a><\/strong>). Stupid people doing important things is the new normal. No, that\u2019s not it. She needs to be removed because she is batshit crazy. \u00a0Or \u00a0she’s a drug addict. Or she needs immediate medical attention for a traumatic brain injury. Or she’s a space alien.<\/p>\n

That’s Minnesota for ya. Most of the local audience for Prairie Home Companion don’t know Garrison Keillor is mocking them – at\u00a0least the squiggly Gerrymander called the 6th District aka the attic you keep your crazy uncle in.\u00a0Remember, it’s our tax dollars that pay this lunatic’s salary, healthcare and benefits and even if we get rid of her, we’ll still<\/em> be paying her. Seriously folks, with all the union busting and the plaintive cries of the overcompensated little peoples, and fucking congress has the biggest sweetheart deal going? <\/em>How long are we going to stand for this?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Drugs? Borderline Personality Disorder? Repressed Abuse? Alien invasion? What the fuck is it? Maybe America\u2019s Craziest Legislator Michele Bachmann (R-Circular Ruins) is just a useful tool for the party as a sideshow attraction while the big crime is going on. because when someone is flapping their arms and looking hysterical you can sometimes ignore the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1354,1334],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-18644","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-cpac-follies","category-tea-party-files"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18644","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=18644"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18644\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":18694,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/18644\/revisions\/18694"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=18644"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=18644"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=18644"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}