GUY FIERI IS AMERICA’S \u00a0KRUSTY THE CLOWN<\/a> <\/strong>reposted from<\/span> sethmad.com<\/a><\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n BY SETH MADEJ<\/strong><\/p>\n Chef\u00a0Guy Fieri<\/span><\/a> rocketed to a sad, modern version of superstardom thanks to Food Network and despite his The first hints of Fieri\u2019s decline appeared last November with the opening and subsequent\u00a0New York Times kebabing<\/span><\/a> of his massive Times Square\u00a0mothership,\u00a0and\u00a0Guy\u2019s American Kitchen<\/span><\/a> Bar<\/span><\/a>,<\/span>1<\/span><\/a> but his Krustydom has been ensured with the release of his latest frozen food-style product, Guy Fieri\u2019s S\u2019mores Indoors Pizza.<\/p>\n The S\u2019mores, labeled as \u201ca gourmet pizza made witha sweet graham cracker crust, rich melted chocolate, semi sweet chocolate chips and fluffy marshmallow miniatures,\u201d sounds appealing enough that I\u2019d be tempted to eat it tonight as my third dinner. But according\u00a0to\u00a0the food blog Serious Eats<\/span><\/a>, the pizza surpasses everyday grossness to achieve a level of negligent and potentially hazardous awfulness achieved only by\u00a0jagged metal Krusty-O\u2019s<\/span><\/a> or eye-searing\u00a0Krusty Brand Personal Swabs<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n![\"\"](\"http:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/krustyFieri.jpg\" "\\"krustyFieri\\"")
continuing devotion to the music of\u00a0Sammy Hagar<\/span><\/a>.<\/span> He\u2019s now deep into his return trajectory, plunging through the selloutosphere, spraying a trail of Ed Hardy flames, his last traces of respectability burned away. Fieri has become a real-life version of the ultimate celebrity marketing strumpet,\u00a0The Simpsons<\/em> Krusty the Clown. As Krusty is to comedy, Guy is to food \u2014 a living cartoon, a face to be plastered on any product presented to him alongside a slow-cooker full of coin, a hollow symbol of grub for which quality is no object.<\/p>\n
![jagged metal Krusty-O\u2019s<\/span><\/a> or eye-searing\u00a0Krusty Brand Personal Swabs<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\nProduct reviews on the\u00a0Sam\u2019s Club web site<\/span><\/a> claim that the pizza tastes awful, endangers your safety when you heat it up and, worst of all,\u00a0burns the throats<\/em> of anyone unfortunate enough to ingest it, due to some peppery component unlisted on the ingredient label:<\/p>\nThis is the worst thing I have ever bought. There was something very hot in it that burned our tongue and throat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nMarshmellow [sic] melted and fell down into the bottom of both ovens and smoked the entire kitchen\/dining room area up<\/p><\/blockquote>\nYou remember those ads in the back of comic books for pepper-flavored gum you could give out as a practical joke? I think this is \u201cGuy Fieri\u201d\u2018s version of that.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nThese complaints don\u2019t come from foodies looking to rip apart a dude who\u2019s admittedly become a gastronomic pariah. The second comment above was written by a woman who bought the pizzas to serve as dessert at a church dinner. In fact, the most infuriating part of this disaster is that the people buying and hating this product picked it up specifically because they thought that if Guy says it\u2019s good, it must be good. Take reviewer SueZQ:<\/p>\nWe purchased this product because it looked delicious on the box and had Guy Fieri\u2019s name on it. I can\u2019t believe he would put his name on this awful stuff! The actual product had barely any marshmallows. The marshmallows that were near the edges slid off and burned on the bottom of the oven. The taste was strange, and burned our throats (all 4 family members!). I don\u2019t recommend it at all!<\/p><\/blockquote>\nPoor Sue was not just disappointed but actually\u00a0harmed<\/em> by a product she bought because it was endorsed by someone she likes and trusts.<\/p>\nTherein lies the heart of Fieri\u2019s Krustyness.\u00a0It\u2019s not the selling out; it\u2019s not the marketing of inferior merchandise. It\u2019s the lack of respect or concern for the folks that made him famous enough to enable him to take their money. Guy has \u2014 thanks to some combination of laziness, apathy, greed, or turpitude \u2014 enticed his fans into buying by a possibly dangerous product by using his name and image to assure them of its quality. In so doing, he\u2019s telling SueZQ that her cash is more important to him than she is.<\/p>\nIs there any worse thing someone can do with his celebrity?<\/p>\n\nWhich materialized just a few feet from my old office, a new singularity in a epicurean black hole so vast that leaving my building for lunch required a trek across two\u00a0crosstown<\/em> blocks to get a decent slice of pizza.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"this is freaking hilarious. GUY FIERI IS AMERICA’S \u00a0KRUSTY THE CLOWN reposted from sethmad.com BY SETH MADEJ Chef\u00a0Guy Fieri rocketed to a sad, modern version of superstardom thanks to Food Network and despite his continuing devotion to the music of\u00a0Sammy Hagar. He\u2019s now deep into his return trajectory, plunging through the selloutosphere, spraying a trail […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17218"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17218\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17304,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17218\/revisions\/17304"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}](\"http:\/\/www.sethmad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/Krusty-os.jpg\"){kind=link}
![Krusty Brand Personal Swabs<\/span><\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\nProduct reviews on the\u00a0Sam\u2019s Club web site<\/span><\/a> claim that the pizza tastes awful, endangers your safety when you heat it up and, worst of all,\u00a0burns the throats<\/em> of anyone unfortunate enough to ingest it, due to some peppery component unlisted on the ingredient label:<\/p>\nThis is the worst thing I have ever bought. There was something very hot in it that burned our tongue and throat.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nMarshmellow [sic] melted and fell down into the bottom of both ovens and smoked the entire kitchen\/dining room area up<\/p><\/blockquote>\nYou remember those ads in the back of comic books for pepper-flavored gum you could give out as a practical joke? I think this is \u201cGuy Fieri\u201d\u2018s version of that.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nThese complaints don\u2019t come from foodies looking to rip apart a dude who\u2019s admittedly become a gastronomic pariah. The second comment above was written by a woman who bought the pizzas to serve as dessert at a church dinner. In fact, the most infuriating part of this disaster is that the people buying and hating this product picked it up specifically because they thought that if Guy says it\u2019s good, it must be good. Take reviewer SueZQ:<\/p>\nWe purchased this product because it looked delicious on the box and had Guy Fieri\u2019s name on it. I can\u2019t believe he would put his name on this awful stuff! The actual product had barely any marshmallows. The marshmallows that were near the edges slid off and burned on the bottom of the oven. The taste was strange, and burned our throats (all 4 family members!). I don\u2019t recommend it at all!<\/p><\/blockquote>\nPoor Sue was not just disappointed but actually\u00a0harmed<\/em> by a product she bought because it was endorsed by someone she likes and trusts.<\/p>\nTherein lies the heart of Fieri\u2019s Krustyness.\u00a0It\u2019s not the selling out; it\u2019s not the marketing of inferior merchandise. It\u2019s the lack of respect or concern for the folks that made him famous enough to enable him to take their money. Guy has \u2014 thanks to some combination of laziness, apathy, greed, or turpitude \u2014 enticed his fans into buying by a possibly dangerous product by using his name and image to assure them of its quality. In so doing, he\u2019s telling SueZQ that her cash is more important to him than she is.<\/p>\nIs there any worse thing someone can do with his celebrity?<\/p>\n\nWhich materialized just a few feet from my old office, a new singularity in a epicurean black hole so vast that leaving my building for lunch required a trek across two\u00a0crosstown<\/em> blocks to get a decent slice of pizza.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"this is freaking hilarious. GUY FIERI IS AMERICA’S \u00a0KRUSTY THE CLOWN reposted from sethmad.com BY SETH MADEJ Chef\u00a0Guy Fieri rocketed to a sad, modern version of superstardom thanks to Food Network and despite his continuing devotion to the music of\u00a0Sammy Hagar. He\u2019s now deep into his return trajectory, plunging through the selloutosphere, spraying a trail […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17218","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17218","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=17218"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17218\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17304,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17218\/revisions\/17304"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=17218"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=17218"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/teensleuth.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=17218"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}](\"http:\/\/www.sethmad.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/swabs.jpg\"){kind=link}