“I don’t want any ad that is in any way misleading or incorrect to be able to be linked back to me!” – Steven Colbert
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=x-4bm5NxqPY
I loathe this man with every fiber of my being. All the reasons I hate him:
For being perceived as the “smart one” just because he is not batshit crazy when in reality he is the biggest fool on the stage. For being ultra-conservative on women’s issues despite appearing to want to make the Mormon church more progressive on that front. For his “being-a-businessman-will-make-me-a-great-president” claim, when his job description at The Evil Empire of Bain Capitol was job slashing (to his delight, apparently), factory shuttering, and moving production overseas (see also: clashing with union workers, serving on the board of a company that ran afoul of federal laws, and loading up already struggling companies with debt). For enjoying shitcanning people and ruining their lives because those shortsighted poors don’t have $250 million to fall back on. For tearing down a $12 million hovel in La Jolla where his family was crammed into like toes bursting out of a ragged pair of hobo socks and slapping up a bigger mansion only to claim he’s “one of us”. For contradicting his own faith by citing “traditional marriages” as being between a man and a woman (followed by another woman, then followed by a third woman…and then maybe a fourth…then a fifth…). I hate this smirking cowardly, blundering careerist/predator capitalist trying to pass himself off as a businessman and a political outsider who reluctantly joined the presidential race to save his country. I hate him for making a virtue out of not being a “career politician”, his “emotion-free crisis management,” and for strapping Seamus to the roof of the family station wagon.
I hate the way he looks and acts, the stench of his cologne that I can smell through my teevee, and how his sideburn hair gets increasingly whiter with each debate – temple-greying must poll well with focus groups. I hate him for having no idea about state authority, civil vs sacramental marriages and saying, “I don’t know let’s ask the Constitutionalist”, and that he thinks Ron Paul is a constitutionalist. For pandering to conservative “Christians” and for touting himself as a moral beacon because he has 67 kids, yet spent $100,000 scrubbing old emails and trashing hard drives. And for saying to Huntsman that serving country first means “standing for people who believe in conservative principles”.
I hate him for his offensive, disingenuous China bashing, when in fact he takes all his marching orders from the moneyed classes and his financial backers will make damn sure that his actual policies reflect their interests (going guns blazing at China is an easy way for a private equity gazillionaire to earn some populist credibility in states hit hardest by the decline in manufacturing, appealing to the nativist-minded voter who might otherwise be wary of the gazillionaire former Bain CEO from Massachusetts, aka La Jolla mansion expansionist). Since nothing the Republicans are proposing departs from the Supply-Side/Starve the Beast/Magical Thinking that got us here, blaming the Chinese for it seems god-awfully stupid.
I certainly don’t envy Iowans! How does one pick the biggest bible thumpin’ honkey douchebag dipshit in this utterly meaningless nationwide poll of primary preference/race to the bottom? On the one hand, you have a neat, pandering Mormon, a moderate Republican who has to lie to appear acceptably insane. On the other hand, you have a mental ward’s full of genuinely insane people; ego-imploded blood-diamond engorged grifter Gingrich; pill-addled, Bull Goose Loonie maniac, Michele Bachmann (just the fact that people don’t laugh so explosively that snot careens like a rocket when they mention her as a candidate, is a wonder); fetus-fetishizing inanimate carbon rod Rick Santorum – who surprises me every time he demonstrates that he can walk upright – and perma-tanned fucktard Rick Perry, literally virtually retarded and a total douche (although shooting a coyote, with a laser-sighted pistol and hollow-point bullets, while walking your dog, is totally awesome). Oh and Ron Paul. I mean, nice choices, GOP. Nice strategy, why don’t you dig up William Jennings Bryan and run him? I wouldn’t let any of these weirdos watch my dog, let alone run the country. This morning on NPR, someone said that this is proof that the Republicans realize that they have no chance to take back the White House, since none of the people that actually have a chance to win are running. I mean, people think Mittens Romney is “electable” because he seems to be the only candidate who is not a raging psychotic. Sure, he’s terrible and all, but in that old-fashioned Republican way, like Ronnie, with his superficially sunny disposition and ruthless political strategy of exploiting white-male resentments. The others, Jeebus, the thought of any of them with access to foreign leaders and nuclear weapons makes me want to barf.
The harbinger here is the fact that an election where Ron Paul, Newt Gingrich and Rick Santorum are all in the running to win an office more important than Pooper-Scooper of Bumfuck County means the Republican Party is finally doing its Exxon Valdez impersonation and running aground on rocky shoals it ought to have seen coming well beforehand. But I could be wrong. We could all be horribly, horribly wrong.
Dear Friends/Communist Liberal Pinko Elitists: Happy New Year. May this be the year that ignorance, racism, xenophobia, conservative culture warfare, anti-abortion crusading, greed apologetics and corporation idolatry become socially leprous. May snark become old-fashioned or at least more difficult to put into practice. May this year see President Obama’s reelection, the dismantling of Rupert Murdoch’s vast criminal enterprise, the death of the George W tax cuts and Dick Cheney, Liz Cheney and the Kardashians, the scaling back of income inequality, for the Republican party to keep eating itself into nothingness, for regulation and transparency to put an end to the boom-and-bust speculation of the last thirty years, for the emergence of liberal democracies in unlikely places, for the US to make a real effort towards using alternative fuels and thinking further into the future than the next quarterly dividend, for the strength to stop shopping at the big box stores altogether and stop eating Big Ag food like substances, support independent media and each other, and occupy living in dignity.
But I would settle for not living in a third world country.
With best wishes for a good-humored and peaceful New Year, and btw the War on Christmas is over and the good guys won
Why I detest Republican policy: Repeal of the estate tax would get the Walton family another $32 billion in untaxed income. The best your respectable Gilded Age capitalist could do was to lower wages to mere subsistence levels. The Waltons/WalMartians have done that one better: wages lower than subsistence level can now be augmented by food stamps and welfare, paid for by taxes on the middle class.
Their wealth is subsidized by the state.
“But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round — apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that — as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant time: the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys”.
– Fred Scrooge, Stave 1, A Christmas Carol
New Horse-Racing Initiative Aimed At Training Thoroughbreds From Inner City
DECEMBER 10, 2010
COMPTON, CA—In an effort to develop a more diverse base of athletic talent, raise the sport’s profile in nontraditional areas, and enrich the lives of troubled youth, thoroughbred-racing organizations are funding a new program to train inner-city and delinquent horses.