Watching the “news” coverage of Black Friday macing and stampeding gave me an idea for a TV show. A reality/game show. Competing, desperate redneck families have to race through a corn maze. The teams of tense, fringe hillbillies would leave booby traps for each other, and fight each other with nonlethal weapons, all to be the first out of the maze and to the grand prize: a rusted out pickup truck rigged with CB radios and meth, the bed full of Redman, hobo beans, nacho cheese, and cheap, off-brand electronics. The show will be called “Black Friday”. It could be mc’ed by that crazy, redneck quran-burning pastor. This show would go over big with the hungry, fear junkie demographic. I would totally watch that shit. And compete, also.