DISCLOSURE: I’ve kicked ass on every standardized test I’ve taken, and reading comprehension was my strong suit. Also, I produced the “Dilbert” cartoon series in 1999.
Scott Adams has a blog, a really weird, bad blog. In March, Jezebel reported on one of the Dilbert creator’s posts – a withdrawn-but-not-retracted, reposted-with-caveat, pathetic misogynist-rant over the limited and flawed liberation of women and how it’s somehow part of a monolithic feminist utopia which men are threatened by, and should be resentful of. Adams deleted his post after being eviscerated by feminists and other normal people, who labeled him a misogynist and a weirdo. In a post titled, “I’m a What?”, Adams reinstated his original post, claiming it to be some sort of crafty forensic exercise that only his loyal readers — that über-rational Dilbert gestapo — could possibly understand. Because, when one gets a ton of blowback for saying something stupid, the easy way out is to pretend it’s satire. And really, the only things men are worried about saying that could attract criticisms of misogyny, are misogynistic things – which naturally they want to express without being called out on – like claiming women have usurped all their power, ruined their ass-pinching fun at work, and that they’re responsible for their own harassment and rapes. I suppose behind their bizarre resentment is the simple fact that we live longer than they do – the obvious remedy being to coercively calibrate women’s reproductive rights so that they die earlier, at just the right age. Then perhaps Adams and his army of resentful, puffed-up with outward confidence and rotting with inward self-loathing pantywaists can see the rise of The Men’s Movement. Subsequent Adams posts involve Gwyneth Paltrow, a flattering impostor commenter, and Adams’ self-proclaimed genius. I’m going to share reports on these in installments because they are so freaking funny.
This is the first:
From Jezebel, March 26th, 2011
Dilbert Creator Deletes Misogynist Rant
his is a surprisingly good topic. It’s dangerous. It’s relevant. It isn’t overdone. And apparently you care.
Hmm. It’s hard to say why “men’s rights” has yet to become an overdone topic. Perhaps it’s because historically, men (and particularly relevant in Adams’ case, Caucasian men) have had the upper hand in just about any country in any time period, compared to women and other minorities. So hearing arguments from a successful white male begging us to not only see him as a marginalized individual, but to also see the similarities between women and “the mentally handicapped”, is indeed a bit rare.
according to my readers, examples of unfair treatment of men include many elements of the legal system, the military draft in some cases, the lower life expectancies of men, the higher suicide rates for men, circumcision, and the growing number of government agencies that are primarily for women.
Ah, yes: the unfairness of circumcision and its ability to render you unable to achieve a clitoral orgasm. Oh, wait. That’s female circumcision. One is a common procedure that has very little effect on sensation or overall well-being and the other is genital mutilation, often as a form of violence. It’s really easy to get the two confused.
While you’re at it Scott, why don’t you tell us about the people of color whom you likely believe have stolen jobs from you as a direct result of affirmative action?
you might add to this list the entire area of manners. We take for granted that men should hold doors for women, and women should be served first in restaurants. Can you even imagine that situation in reverse?
Woah. Excellent point, Scott. You (and your devoted readers) are sharp as tacks. Can I imagine a world where men are given preferential treatment? Honestly, no! Are they? I have no idea. Please go on to explain how these things work, creator of notoriously cutting edge comic Dilbert.
generally speaking, society discourages male behavior whereas female behavior is celebrated. Exceptions are the fields of sports, humor, and war. Men are allowed to do what they want in those areas.
Add to our list of inequities the fact that women have overtaken men in college attendance. If the situation were reversed it would be considered a national emergency.
Good to know men still have those categories on lockdown, right guys? High fives all around for retaining complete and total control of sports, humor, and war. At least women can’t take those things away from you. The last thing we need right now is another “national emergency” like that.
Adams goes on to discuss the wage gap, different car insurance premiums based on gender, and why women would get paid more if only they were willing to sacrifice “family time”.
He also takes a moment to address readers who report being frustrated by the lack of attention paid to men’s rights by telling them to stop acting like a bunch of “pussies”.
he reality is that women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. It’s just easier this way for everyone. You don’t argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn’t eat candy for dinner. You don’t punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don’t argue when a women tells you she’s only making 80 cents to your dollar. It’s the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles.
How many times do we men suppress our natural instincts for sex and aggression just to get something better in the long run? It’s called a strategy. Sometimes you sacrifice a pawn to nail the queen. If you’re still crying about your pawn when you’re having your way with the queen, there’s something wrong with you and it isn’t men’s rights.
Fairness is an illusion. It’s unobtainable in the real world. I’m happy that I can open jars with my bare hands. I like being able to lift heavy objects. And I don’t mind that women get served first in restaurants because I don’t like staring at food that I can’t yet eat.
If you’re feeling unfairly treated because women outlive men, try visiting an Assisted Living facility and see how delighted the old ladies are about the extra ten years of pushing the walker around. It makes dying look like a bargain.
After reading such a compelling argument for why women should be knocking each other unconscious trying to marry this peach, it’s hard to understand why Adams eventually deleted this blog entry.
Rumor has it, this is why:
hat’s the reason the original blog was pulled down. All writing is designed for specific readers. This piece was designed for regular readers of The Scott Adams blog. That group has an unusually high reading comprehension level.
In this case, the content of the piece inspires so much emotion in some readers that they literally can’t understand it. The same would be true if the topic were about gun ownership or a dozen other topics. As emotion increases, reading comprehension decreases. This would be true of anyone, but regular readers of the Dilbert blog are pretty far along the bell curve toward rational thought, and relatively immune to emotional distortion.
Ohhhh. Got it. Women are pretty emotional, which also means they are pretty illogical. They also love shoes, and shopping, and can’t seem to keep a man!
It’s a shame you won’t be writing things like this in a public forum anymore, Scott. But definitely let me know if you end up create a mailing list (solely for your hyper-intelligent readers) so I don’t miss out on hearing your warped views of women. Forgive me if I don’t sign up right away. I have this jar I’ve been trying to open, but I’ll just have to wait until my boyfriend gets home from work.