This Puppet

by kara on June 3, 2019

I just watched this interview and honestly, for as hideously unattractive as Jared Kushner is in photos, that’s nothing compared to how repulsive he is when he opens his mouth and speaks. He has the back-stabbers manner of speaking through a fixed smile, no matter the gravity of matters being discussed. I literally gasped.

He’s been called a murderous waxen doll, a haunted ventriloquist’s dummy, a sentient bag of marshmallows wearing cotton Dockers. An egg. But he’s worse than that.

He’s neither ugly nor handsome.

He’s the white bed sheet you hang on the wall when you need a spot to project an image.

His androgyny isn’t even interesting, he would be equally mundane as a woman as he is as a man.

He’s smart enough to pronounce words, but too stupid to say anything that means anything.

If he has a hobby, it is looking at pictures of other people doing their hobbies while he tries to figure out what hobbies are.

He is a void that neither absorbs nor exudes color, sound, or emotion.

A coloring book outline of a generic person would bear an entirely unstriking resemblance to Jared Kushner.

His complexion is both flawless and disgusting. Ever waxier. If there was anyone who would convince me there really are lizard aliens living in human hosts and plotting to take over the world, it would be Jared Kushner and his ever waxier complexion. And those dead, dead eyes. Doll’s eyes. I’ve never seen anything like it.

Previous post:

Next post: