Twitter rarely surprises or confuses me anymore. Nothing perplexed me more than @Southern_Mayers Twitter account, into whose deep black hole I fell through last night. This is the most effectively hilarious parodic account I’ve ever read.
In the 1961 book The Rhetoric of Fiction, Wayne C Booth coined a term that’s become common critical parlance, the “unreliable narrator”. The personage is familiar to anyone semi literate (Swift’s Gulliver, Humbert Humbert in Lolita, Patrick Bateman in American Psycho), whose account is so partial that the reader must see beyond it. @Southern_Mayers is such an unreliable narrator, a cross between a Phil Hendrie character and Patrick Bateman, the damned creature of a satirist’s place of perdition from American Psycho.
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WARNING: @Southern_Mayers comes on strong. She loves Jesus, and subsequently hates black people.
@Southern_Mayers thinks black are basically animals. Lazy, violent food stamp kings and queens and slavery was a good idea (like Jesus said):
Because she is an Evangelical Christian, @Southern_Mayers loves her some Donald Trump. Patrick Bateman is also a yuuuuuge fan of Donald Trump, at one point attending a U2 concert because he is told Trump likes them. He invokes Trump’s name or form 30 times in total. He covets The Art of the Deal . He stares lovingly, at Trump Tower, tall, proudly gleaming in the late afternoon sunlight. His euphoria does not last, however, as he notices two black teenagers “ripping off tourists” and has to fight away the urge to kill them.
Apropos of nothing, @Southern_Mayers wi;; step away from the violent and hateful rhetoric and will hit you up with some fashion or lifestyle advice and it is gold:
Remember Patrick Bateman’s fixation with designer clothing, furniture, beauty products and restaurants suggests a disturbed and obsessive mind. @Southern_Mayers’ her husband makes a LOT of money and she is very, very rich. And again, because she is an Evangelical Christian, she is VERY materialistic. Remember how all the money and clothes and drives Bateman bananas, yammering on about meals that no human could ingest: “. . . eagle carpaccio, mesquite-grilled mahi-mahi, endive with chèvre and chocolate-covered almonds, gazpacho with raw chicken in it?
@Southern_Mayers loves luxury goods, like special soaps from Barney’s, the same way Patrick Bateman coveted fine wine and huge turkish towels from Ralph Lauren.
@Southern_Mayers is obsessed with her perfect face and body just like Bateman and she has it going on: perfect skin, tiny feet and a really, really good body. And that that is a blessing. Coulda been a Gymnast, coulda been a model:
One of the highpoint of American Psycho is the hilariously earnest chapter to the analysis of all Whitney Houston’s albums, Phil Collins, particularly “Sussudio”. a great, great song, a personal favorite.@Southern_Mayers has a love of Jesusy wholesome country music.
Then, @Southern_Mayers hits us from behind as she lets us know – from watching the OJ Simpson “documentary” -that Nicole Simpson deserved to have her head cut off.
Here is @Southern_Mayers the Evangelical encouraging pregnant women to abort their babies if they are infected with Zika or if they are “mongoloid”.
This run is genius:
@Southern_Mayers really went for it when she defended 42-year-old Christy Sheats, the gun nut who murdered her 17-year-old daughter, Madison and her 22-year-old daughter, Taylor, because she wanted her estranged husband to suffer. Taylor was set to marry a young man named Juan Sebastian Lugo. @Southern_Mayers championed Christy Sheats, using God’s Word to lionize Christy her post titled “America’s Martyr: NO Race Mixing,” posted on June 27 (yes, she has a blog). It’s basically using Scripture as a basis for demonizing interracial relationships, you know, the way American Christians do.
The Internets were outraged. Maybe they didn’t see THIS:
We get a look at his dichotomy/horror show:
Then we get cold assaulted with THIS:
Genius, I tell you.