Exciting sports news this week: Donald Trump campaign events are now the third most popular contact sport behind football and hockey, and the second most likely to cause CTE. Pundits and bookies are working together to predict when the first actual human sacrifice will occur at a Trump rally.
Trump rallies have always felt like a political stump speech given during an Ultimate Fighting match, because Trump and his supporters are fucked up, angry, stupid, nasty people. Over the past year of Donald Trump’s campaign for PRESIDENCY OF THE UNITED STATES, we’ve seen headlines such as:
“Trump Supporters Making America Great Again, by Beating Homeless Hispanic Guys” when two brothers beat the living shit out of a 58-year-old homeless Hispanic man and broke his nose in Boston of course, and they actually said they were inspired by Donald Trump.
“Trump Supporters Welcome Black Guy To Rally, With Their Fists”, when a black dude got punched while being called “nigger” and “monkey (LOL)”, in Birmingham, Alabama.
“Moving a lot Closer to the Platonic Ideal of a Trump Rally”, when in Las Vegas , allegedly tiny-dicked candidate Trump wished out loud that he could punch another protester in the face, and after ratcheting up the rhetoric about Muslims again, a half-dozen Trump Hat Guys punched and kicked a black protester, tackling him, then punching and kicking him while he was on the ground. One Trumptrooper even let the excitement get the best of him and shrieked “Sieg Heil!” as the protester was dragged away. Reporters on hand said they had never seen anything like the fevered hysteria that gripped the ballroom in Las Vegas, minor riots conveniently positioned around the hall so everyone could get a look-see. The rally was missing were some torches and marching music, or perhaps to emphasize that Trump is the biggest Christian ever, a prominent display of a cross, lit up with kerosene so everyone could see it real good. The crowd certainly enjoyed each ejection of a protester:
“Kick his ass!” yelled one.
“Shoot him!” shouted another.
Shoot. Him. When a white activist proclaimed “Black lives matter!” as she was being carted out of the building, a male Trump supporter leaned toward her and seethed, “White lives matter” (sadly, the crowd was unable to reach a consensus on whether to shoot the guy or kick his ass, so instead he got away unscathed).
By the time security swooped in, jacked-up Trump Hat supporters had already encircled the terrified protesters — booing, and chanting, and slowly closing in like a scene out of The Wicker Man — while a crush of smartphone-wielding media scrambled to capture footage of the clash. The guards managed to remove one protester, but another resisted, stiffening his limbs and screaming about the First Amendment as they tried to haul him off. When he toppled to the floor, a horde of Hats assembled to hurl insults and threats at him.
“Light the motherfucker on fire!” one Trump supporter yelled.
Light. The. Motherfucker. On. Fire. MSNBC reporter Benjy Sarlin heard one Trumpista shouting, as another protester was taken away, “He’s a Muslim guy! He’s a Muslim guy!” See? Having them wear a yellow crescent on their sleeves really does make identifying them easier. An NBC camera also caught a nice fellow screaming “Sieg Heil,” because what the hell, it’s only reality TV anyway. Trump didn’t worry too much about trying to calm down the crowd, because it’s funner and classynesser to just hit them with a verbal cattle prod instead:
“This is what we should have been doing to the other side for the last seven years!”
Trump berated the reporters in the room for taking pictures of the clashes. “They are terrible!” Trump hissed of the press. Hundreds of riled-up Trump fans turned their hideous visages towards the press corps, hissing and booing loudly.
A good time was had by all, except perhaps for a few small children whose parents hurried the, to the exits, and “some elderly people [who] had to leave in search of medical assistance.” Fortunately, Trump himself was in tip-top shape to rouse the rabble all night long, since he’s the Healthiest Man in America. At each of these occurrences, with characteristic wit and charm, Trump yells from the stage:
“Get him the hell out of here, will you, please? … Get him out of here. Throw him out!”
Probably making a big liberal deal out of the “videos” of a protester being beat the fuck up at a Trump rally in in Fayetteville, N.C.a earlier this week which I doubt had anything to do with how he was black, or that he was protesting.
.
Here is how the Washington Post describes what happened:
The videos, which appeared on social media early Thursday and are shot from different perspectives, show an African American with long hair wearing a white T-shirt leaving the Trump rally as the audience boos. He is being led out of the rally by men in uniforms that read “Sheriff’s Office.” The man extends a middle finger to the audience on his way out.
Then, out of nowhere, the man is punched in the face by a pony-tailed man, who appears to be white, in a cowboy hat, black vest and pink shirt as the crowd begins to cheer. The protester stumbles away, and then is detained by a number of the men in uniforms, who handcuff him while he is on the ground.
White Guy in a Cowboy Hat, what could possibly go wrong?
The protester stumbles away, and then is detained by a number of the men in some sort of uniforms, who handcuff him while he is on the ground. It didn’t occur to any of the officers that they should immediately detain the psychopath who punched him for no reason, although that crowd would have turned on the cops in a heartbeat, and no WAY they had enough cops on hand to get control back. Eventually they arrested him, a seventy-eight year old man named – unsurprisingly – John McGraw and he was charged with assault, battery, and disorderly conduct. But the way in which the police initially just casually walk by the guy just after he’s landed the punch – I mean, they don’t wrestle him to the ground – and only because of the outrage on social media. But hey—all lives matter, right?
Donald Trump is a rich, classy guy. Heaven knows his supporters would never behave in such an undignified manner. They agree that anyone who says they would should be taken out, beaten to a pulp, and left to die in an alley. Sources within the Trump campaign say that the candidate has not yet decided whether to include ritualized violence as a regular part of campaign events or simply to let the mayhem develop at its own pace. Hey! They were deescalating the situation by abusing the black guy instead of the hostile mob that was forming. They chained him in shackles for his own good. Just another day in Donald Trump’s America, which will be Great Again once we have sucker-punched or kicked in the stomach to deported or built a wall around allllllllll the people we don’t like.
John McGraw. (Cumberland County Sheriff’s Office)
[The victim, Rakeem] Jones said he and four friends (including a White Woman, Muslim, Gay Man), went to the rally as a “social experiment.”
Can I just say here and now that normal people should no longer go to Trump rallies, even if it’s for a “social experiment” or if you’re reading about Margaret Mead in your college anthropology class and want to get a closer look? It’s just not worth it. I mean, I get that people are going to protest, and to draw attention to the horrible nature of Trump supporters, but Trump was right: he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and his supporters wouldn’t fucking care. Nice people are getting hurt, other nice people are horrified and sad and ashamed, and the assholes of the world are all, “YEAH, FUCK THAT [insert racial comment here].” PLEASE STAY HOME OR PROTEST FROM A SAFE PLACE. Edit: I hope that didn’t come across as victim-blaming. These people are clearly not at fault at all, but I worry someone’s going to get killed, I really do.
Also So You Want To Be A Journalist In Donald Trump’s America? Just stay away. As fascinating as the wild animals in the Make America Great Again hats are, and as much as some of them look like folksy grans and grams, they put those warnings on the glass for a reason. Do not feed them. Do not taunt them. And most of all, do not dare be anything other than a crusty white person.
Someone’ll be dead before this assclown is elected President.
American Hero @ShaunKing is urging people to ID the perps, and then identifying the thugs by name in the NY Daily News.