Y’all Queda, a Primer

by kara on January 5, 2016

Ammon Bundy departs after addressing the media at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge near Burns, Oregon, January 4, 2016. The leaders of a group of self-styled militiamen who took over a U.S. wildlife refuge headquarters over the weekend said on Monday they had acted to protest the federal government's role in governing wild lands. Bundy, a leader of the group, told reporters outside the occupied facility on Monday that his group had named itself "Citizens for Constitutional Freedom" and was trying to restore individual rights. Bundy and law enforcement officials declined to say how many people were occupying the refuge headquarters. REUTERS/Jim Urquhart TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY

“Why is it that the federal government owns 47% of western states, in our country?”

(Why come this was never really an issue until that colored fella occupied the white house)?

1. The Federal government is US – We, the People. The Federal government is of, by, and for the people. So “we” own it. The Federal government, despite the best efforts of Regressives, reactionaires and assorted (or just sordid) revanchists, is not a foreign corporation or other entity separate and distinct from ourselves.

2. In 1818 when Monroe signed the Treaty with Great Britain that created the Oregon Territory, all this land belonged to the Native Americans living on it.The only people who had land taken away by the Federal Government were those indians. Period, full stop. Not some rancher who bought property adjoining Federal Land who thinks that makes it his to burn down out of spite. If the Feds ever relinquish ownership of any of it, it shouldn’t be to ranchers, it should be to the Native Americans the original “owners” stole it from. Where you stooges get the idea you have entitlement to this land utterly baffles me.

3. The Federal government owns much of the land because it bought and paid for it. Remember “Purchase” in “The Louisiana Purchase.” Now, we did do our level best to give much of it away. To railroads, homesteaders, land grant colleges, et. al. Just not to First Americans.

4. Most of that 47% is basically uninhabitable – look at the scrubland in Nevada that the government owns and ask “Why do you want it? There’s no water, you can’t grow anything in the dirt, part of it was used for atomic bomb testing, another part is a bombing range, and it’s miles and miles from anything of consequence.” The climate of many western lands wasn’t really suitable for small private farms, and there was worry that America’s natural resources were being depleted by the private market.

5. The cattlemen themselves requested the Federal government to create the Bureau of Land Management to act as arbitrator of land use squabbles cause they couldn’t seem to stop shooting each other over stuff like this and everyone was ruining the common resources by overgrazing, diverting water, and other selfish practices…ah the good old days…when government was still the solution…

6. It’s not your building. Yes, your taxes may have paid for part of it. My taxes paid for an F-22 Raptor. Doesn’t mean I can go down to Nellis AFB and borrow it. Doesn’t mean I get scoot on down to Fort Knox and help myself.

7. It’s useless as private land: they couldn’t give it away when the Territories were made into States, because any private owner would either have to sink fortunes into improving it or run it at a ruinous loss. The Feds are the only ones who can afford to own that fucking scrub.

8. Just because the Feds didn’t want to kill all of you from 10 miles away at 25,000 ft, back at the Bundy ranch doesn’t mean that you “won” or that the Feds backed down. It just means that the Federal law enforcement agencies involved don’t want to shoot stupid people on live T.V. There are optics involved here and you gross ass hats know it. If there was a even a remote chance that the FBI would Ruby Ridge your asses, you wouldn’t be there. You are parasites and worse than that, cowards. This is the biggest case of lacking the courage of convictions I have ever seen. I cannot for the life of me imagine a scenario where you idiots come out looking good on this one. You are so damn un-likable that even if you were massacred there would be an almost audible shrug across America.

9. What is FUCK is the Federal Government supposed to do with this land? Give it to you Vanilla ISIS idiots to rape and plunder? WTF exactly are you asshats  asking for? I saw an Al Jazeera interview with your Jesus, Ammo Bundy Jr, last night, and even he couldn’t explain his position. Let’s face it, you are Morans with way too much free time on your hands, and if you were real patriots, you would be trying to overthrow Citizens United or trying to make sure that all kids in this country have access to a good education.

10. Oregon has the 12th least amount of people per square mile, so it only makes sense that the Federal government maintains and supervises all that unoccupied land? Where would states get the cash to take care of these giant swaths of land? The vast majority of these lands were federalized in the 1930’s to 1960’s and no one had a problem with it. Why is it over 50 years later you ass-hats are running around with a telephone pole shoved up yourasses?!?!?

11. But you right-wing faux Patriot types don’t believe that the government harms minorities. In your minds, White American Patriots are the natural dominant ethnic force in the U.S. To you, the government since the 1960’s has existed solely to balance the scales for “inferior” people, motivated by “white guilt” or by a “liberal” conspiracy to create equality where it doesn’t naturally exist. So you can’t fathom the suggestion that you’re fighting the same battle against a blind and inconsiderate bureaucracy, let alone that your troubles with the state pale in comparison with inner-city black Americans. In your feeble minds, you are fighting to keep the government from limiting your natural rights. While BLM represents a bunch of ungrateful beneficiaries of true American greatness, latching on to any opportunity to cry injustice and convince the government to squeeze more out of White Patriots.

In closing, it’s not that you really WANT to ride around this place on ATVs,
a-hootin’ and a-hollerin’, drinkin’ beer, wavin’ flags, firin’ guns in the air, is it? It’s just that dangnabbit there’s now an uppity blah man in the White House and he’s sure as shit not gonna tell you you  CAINT.

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