I’m generally a peaceful person, a secularist who believes that people should try to be nice to each other, for the most part. I don’t believe anyone needs a gun, or in the death penalty, and I don’t believe in Hell.
Which is why I was a little surprised to find myself thinking about ways in which Don Blankenship, the former CEO of coal mining giant Massey Energy, might die in a mine cave-in and then spend eternity in terrible torment, maybe in an isolated, antiquated citadel under siege by socialist homo armies of darkness who pick him apart piece from piece then boil him in oil, in some psychological retribution designed by Rod Serling for dramatic effect, then scourged, sewn into a leather bag with a a snake, a rooster, and a monkey, and thrown into the River Tiber, like in ancient Rome.
One just has to accept that there will be parts of one’s ethical worldview that clash now and then, I suppose
Ok,it’s 3AM so I’lll weakly defend this uncharacteristic sadism with the fact that, depending on where we are in the respective Duggar, Palin/Cheney grandchild procreation, and mass shooting cycles, there are roughly 300 million Americans. And with all due respect to our country’s most disgusting and violent shitbags, there may not be a worse person in the bunch than Don Blankenship. I might be forgetting someone, but it probably goes: 1) Rapist Priests 2) Blankenship 3) Racist Murdering Cops 3) Rageaholic Asshole Who Left Illiterate Note On My Windshield About How To Street Park Despite Having Zero Knowledge Of Original Parking Situation.
I’ll also take this opportunity to further confess that the heat death of the universe is one of those things I like to ponder when I’m in a state of existential angst – it’s about the bleakest thing one can think of (although, paradoxically, it’s absolute finality is quite comforting too).