What Easter means to me.

It’s well known, overstated FACT that the REAL, sensible explanation of souls is that a single, loving God split himself into three parts, impregnated a virgin, had his son/self grow up to spread a message of love, let himself be killed and resurrected, all in order to stop himself from sending souls to hell as long as they professed belief in the part that got killed. Okay, so Jesus died for our sins, then busted out of the MAUSOLEUM IN WHICH HIS CORPSE WAS BURIED and came BACK TO FRIKKIN LIFE only to ROCKET TO THE SUN where He now sits at the right hand of his Dad for all eternity, enacting natural disasters on the Midwest and in general, acting real smug. Well, you know what gets short shrift in all this? THE SINNERS whose SINS Jesus had to frikkin’ DIE FOR in order to pull off all his NEAT TRICKS later. Where would Jesus have been if the horrible Bal worshipping indiscriminate group sex have-ers hadn’t indulged themselves in wine, fornication and baby-eating? Nowhere. That’s where. So give the guy his props, it’s hard to get somewhere in this life when you’re born a Jew, but for fuck’s sake, howzabout a little shout out to the millions of  scummy devil-worshipping evil-doers who were so plentiful they had to be taken out with floods and locusts and Angels of Death and whatnot. Those people worked hard GOD DAMN THEM and they deserve at least a tip of the hat, if not our outright respect and, well, yes… our envy.