So, Obamacare continues its relentless march across America’s computer screens like jack-booted Nazis marching across Europe’s vulnerable underbelly. Under Obamacare – the worst thing since the Holocaust and 9/11 made love and gave birth to the BENGHAZI and IRS scandal twins – everybody is losing all their insurance and has to buy new insurance that costs a million times more and it is bad. When did Obama know that a lot of Americans have really shitty insurance with enormous deductibles and very little coverage that only pretends to be “insurance,” but is really cheap? Why did he say that we could keep our terrible shitty insurance, when we can’t keep it now, because insurance companies are being forced to stop their bait and switch games??
I did a little a digging and found out the exact criteria for why insurance would not be compliant under the ACA:
-Ambulatory patient services (outpatient care you get without being admitted to a hospital)
-Emergency services
-Hospitalization (such as surgery)
-Maternity and newborn care (care before and after your baby is born)
-Mental health and substance use disorder services, including behavioral health treatment (this includes counseling and psychotherapy)
-Prescription drugs
-Rehabilitative and rehabilitative services and devices (services and devices to help people with injuries, disabilities, or chronic conditions gain or recover mental and physical skills)
-Laboratory services
-Preventive and wellness services and chronic disease management
-Pediatric services
Republican Moron Tropes broken down:
That one shit-for-brains Republican talking point: “We’s too old to have kids, so why do we need maternity/pediatrics service?” When I was in PA last week, I overheard some moron mom in line At WaWa squawking about about how an Obamacare policy will cover Pap Smears for her teenage son.
Maybe “Pap Smears” are just generally covered in the policy, and if maybe most insurance policies aren’t gender-specific per se. Why in the hell would you WANT insurance that doesn’t cover these? Besides the fact that the entire concept of insurance is based on some people not getting sick and hence not needing something that they paid for. Otherwise why the hell would anyone be in the goddamn insurance business???
Insurance, how does it work?
The regulation of insurance is exactly the same as the regulation of the auto industry. An auto maker can not produce a glass-domed Homermobile with an accelerator pedal that sound like the world is coming to an end, with no seat belts, no air bags and a gas tank made of paper mâché and then sell it for $1000.00 to someone dumb enough to buy it. That being said, no one would ever complain if the aforementioned auto manufacturer discontinued making a vehicle that was inherently unsafe due to its inferior design. Right? Right.
These “Insurance Plans” that are being canceled are “Junk Plans”, the Ford Pinto’s of insurance plans, that douse its occupants with gasoline and erupt in flames upon the slightest impact.
It is a good analogy, actually. Car looks kind of cool, is cheap as shit, but tends to erupt in flame in rear-end collisions. One of autodom’s most notorious paper trails, the Ford Pinto memo, ruthlessly calculated the cost of reinforcing the rear end ($121 million) versus the potential payout to victims ($50 million). Conclusion? Let ’em burn.
Perhaps the outrage over ACA is a good thing if simply from the perspective that it forces people to actually *look* at their goddamn insurance, rather than just consuming it. Once you get past “destroy everything”, liberating the junk insurers is the only alternative plan the Republicans have – some not very states-rightsy plan to make health insurance magically competitive by pushing state insurance regulators out of the way. Then Rick Harebrain Perry can go back to San Francisco again to tell everyone, “Thanks to my small government policies, Texans can buy insurance for $10 per month!” (that policy covers one band aid per year). (in-network only).(with a $10 copay).
Junk Insurance may have been the biggest scam ever perpetrated on the American people. Even bigger than The Great Hummel Depression
and the Beanie Baby Bubble.
Americans, like no other fools in the world, will spend their hard earned money on worthless garbage that has no hope of helping and no potential to appreciate.
Obamacare For Idiots
Holders of shitty plans CAN keep them, but only if the insurance companies choose to continue selling them. But, since they can’t sell new crappy plan policies, it makes more sense for the insurance companies to discontinue them altogether, a detail that keeps getting left out. If Obama had idiot-proofed every piece of information about the ACA, as he should have, instead of the unqualified “if you like your insurance plan, your doctor, or both, you will be able to keep them,” he would have added:
“if your insurance plan does not cover essentials things like hospitalization, we will help you get on a plan that does while still being affordable. if people have a private-market plan that gets cancelled, the ACA requires insurers to provide replacements that will be actual insurance, not just a money drain that doesn’t really cover policyholders in a health emergency”
But the “you can keep your plan” has turned into “YOU LIE!”, because in order for the ACA to work, insurance companies are canceling your shitty plans. There’s a lot of Right wing hand wringing over how mean old Obummer won’t let dopes keep their shitty “insurance”. Damn you for lying about this, Obama. We were perfectly happy shitting in a bucket, and now you want to force us to buy an indoor toilet?
It’s not that they like being fucked buy insurance companies. It’s impossible to pay attention to the complainers when they’ll complain about every damn thing. It’s either a thousand pages and nobody can understand it (except the insurance companies, who have obviously read it and are complying) or it’s too brief and doesn’t cover every possible exception. The Republican professional whining class are welcome to fuck off now.
This is America, where people have the right to fall for any shit fer brains scam or waste their money any way they see fit, commies! Thanks to Obamacare, I’m going to lose my health insurance plan–it was only $5 a month and covered everything which could be cured by sending me a pack of ‘X-ray’ glasses and a pack of Sea Monkeys. (1 treatment per year only, please.) I just send $1001.95 to this post office box in Pueblo, Colorado and they send me my sea monkeys that make all of this “health care” nonsense irrelevant. That means no more doctors with their painful shots and humilating exams, or insurance companies, at all! And unbelievably, they sent me A SECOND package of sea monkeys ABSOLUTELY FREE! (I only had to pay separate shipping and handling for the second set).
A wise man named Bertrand Russell once said:
“If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have a paradise in a few years.”
Problem is, these same sad folks have become enamored of their own unhappiness, too, whether they realize it or not. I’m beginning to think that other people’s unhappiness is how these people find happiness.
I swear to God, United Healthcare could institute a policy where they inject cancer patients with Drano on an outpatient basis as a “cost cutting measure” and these dumb motherfuckers would still be screeching about “free market solutions.”