Register all Elvis Impersonators.

by kara on April 18, 2013

 

Because things aren’t weird enough already, a 45-year old  Elvis impersonator from Mississippi is accused of mailing those ricin-positive letters to national leaders – including the President. Paul Kevin Curtis has not admitted to sending the deadly mail, even though he signed them. The aging rockabilly dude told authorities all about his alleged discovery of a conspiracy to sell human body parts on the black market and about his part-time job as, yes, an Elvis Presley impersonator. Curtis recently tweeted that Ted Nugent ought to be president instead of Obama.

Curtis has had his nose out of joint since no one took seriously his personal conspiracy theories about this and that, such as how the liberal lamestream media is covering up the shocking truth about  naked photos of Barack Obama’s mother.

Therm there’s the body parts thing, a macabre story he posted in 2007 to the consumer fraud website “Ripoff Report”. In it, he he spins a yarn of being fired and harassed after finding a “refrigerator full of body parts” in a Tupelo hospital. North Mississippi Medical Center,  according to Curtis, merely “fronts itself as a ‘not-for-profit’ charity hospital” — though Curtis leaves it to the reader to suss out what the hospital is a “front” for.

Apparently, Curtis had a job cleaning a morgue where the floor drain had backed up  causing “unthinkable things” to be washed back up through the drainage system. He then became thirsty, and looked in an ordinary-looking refrigerator for a refreshing beverage.

Curtis hates Sen. Roger Wicker (R-MS), one of the guys he send deadly Ricin to, because he felt dissed by him:

“I even ran into Roger Wicker several different times while performing at special banquets and fundraisers in northeast, Mississippi but he seemed very nervous while speaking with me and would make a fast exit to the door when I engaged in conversation leading up to my case against NMMC.”

We can’t possibly imagine why a politician would be the least bit put off by this lunatic shrieking at him refrigerators full of body parts. I mean, even for a Republican that would be creepy (Dick Cheney expected)!

Authorities are still awaiting definitive tests on the letters addressed to President Obama and Sen. Wicker, which were received after the Boston Marathon bombings. Apparently, the tainted letter read:

“To see a wrong and not expose it, is to become a silent partner to its continuance.”

It’s a goddamn shame. Before making the decision to mail Ricin to the President, this guy was just one wolf helicopter hunt away from his own Fox show.

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