Hey, guys, she’s back! We knew she couldn’t stay quiet forever — or even very long. Yesterday at someplace called “Patrick Henry College” (a wingnut evangelical university in Virginia, the man who introduced her said he wished the Tea Party movement had been “a little more conservative”), Michele addressed everything from her favorite contemporary singer (Beyoncé, and she thinks Michael Bublé is “pretty cool.”), to gay marriage (bad) to how she prepared for the debates: “You have to be a virtual Wikipedia!” You can be asked anything!”, to her mistakes (none).
“It was a very good experience because I think that challenges are very good for us. I made a decision when I started I wouldn’t whine about the press and I wouldn’t whine about press coverage because I knew that it would be negative. What it did is it forced me to be better and stronger and to think through what I was going to say.”
Asked if any good came from feminism, Bachmann said that realizing that “women are valuable and that women should be listened to is very important.” However, she continued,
“But in my opinion, that wasn’t feminism, that was Jesus Christ who did that. Because Jesus Christ did more to lift up women … We didn’t need the 1960s to tell us that, all you have to do is read Proverbs 31.”
Proverbs is in the Old Testament, the baby Jesus didn’t show up until the New Testament, but no bother. Everyone knows that the teachings of Christ are best interpreted by ignoring the New Testament (with it’s “love thy brother” liberal nonsense), and going back to the good ol’ “Fire and Brimstone” of the Old Testament! To a nut job like Bachman, Jeebus has been around since the beginning as stated in the Gospel of John. You know, the triune god and all that. The God of Multiple personalities.
“Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live” (Exodus 22:18). Oh, wrong witch. My bad.
Then, Ms Bachmann went on to claim that she was very proud of herself for not getting anything wrong. CityPages’ Aaron Rupar reports, the woman who the AP gave up on fact-checking because she “was so full of shit, the AP would’ve needed round-the-clock staff to check all the claims she made” stated she never said anything factually incorrect during the GOP presidential primary debates in 2011.
“If you are a conservative you can never get anything wrong. I was very proud of the fact that I didn’t get anything wrong that I said during the course of the debates. I didn’t get anything wrong and that’s a huge arena.”
Bless her heart. Michele may have gotten one or two things wrong in a factual sense, but that’s neither here nor there — what she means is that she never got anything wrong in an ideological sense — from the death panels to the forced HPV vaccinations that make children retarded and promiscuous to President Obama apologizing to the world to negotiating with Hezbollah to give them nuclear weapons on the moon so they can destroy Israel and Christianity, Ms. Bachmann is 100% correct in every freaking thing she makes up.
She didn’t get anything wrong. It was her GOD who got everything wrong when he told her to run and then dumped her on the side of the road like a fat sack of trash. Or maybe God wasn’t to blame, it was those men running the Republican caucus, who are out of touch with America, whereas Bachmann is America, in the body of the Virgin Mary, with the face of a demon okapi. She is strong because America is strong.
Haha, remember when Our Lady of the Batshit Insane decided that filling out census was against her Constitutional Rights Given To Her Directly From The Baby Jesus? And she implied that if census people came around, folks would be within their rights to throw that census away? It costs a lot to cover up your staggering ineptitude and sheer insanity, even in a single Congressional district. My only regret was that we were not able to push her out of her Congress, too. Literally, a few more thousand dollars and/or some big surrogates on the ground, and we’d be talking former Congresswoman Batshit.
Anyhoo, asked if there were any questions she would have answered differently if given a chance to do over again, Bachmann said she wished she had gotten John Wayne’s birthplace and Elvis Presley’s birthday correct. In June of 2011, Bachmann noted that she was from Waterloo, Iowa, “just like John Wayne.” As it turns out, it was John Wayne Gacy, the serial killer, who lived in Waterloo. The actor was born in a different part of the state. As for Elvis, she wished him a happy birthday.
But those were the only questions she wants to do over,
“because I was right about all the others.”
Oh well, at least she admitted that she was wrong on two facts about which she demonstrably WAS wrong. Sarah Palin is still convinced, or claims to be, that Paul Revere rode in the wrong direction to warn the wrong people about the wrong thing, while making a great deal of noise (not a good way to convey a covert message). And her fans are just as convinced that she was right in every detail.