Dear Bainer:
If it’s any consolation, I didn’t notice a fucking difference when George W lowered my taxes a teensy bit, so I really won’t give a rat’s ass when they’re raised again. Then again I’m not one of your rich friends, so maybe that’s no consolation at all.
Weirdly, Democrats’ total votes for House seats exceeded the Republicans’ in November – but why would we expect you GOPenises to listen to the voice of the American People? America rejects your filthy “proposal” to force everyone to retire later, to raise the age of Medicare eligibility, to shove care for Poors onto the States, all the while neglecting to raise taxes on people like Mitt Romney (or coincidentally, you).
When I grew up, “serious” wasn’t defined as “unnecessarily painful, especially to the least well off in society”. But those were different times – times before Republican faith-based economists discovered that hunger can be alleviated by tax cuts and military spending. It was like anesthesia before the discovery of ether, where you just bit on a leather strap until you passed out (Or, for you, like every Thursday afternoon). The rest of us have to remind ourselves every morning that we live in a country where “raising revenues through taxation on those who can afford it the most in a time of economic crisis” is an extremely controversial proposition, then see your orange face on the teevee and get all disgruntled and sad before we’ve even left for work.
Maybe you wouldn’t be in this position if you had cut the deal that was on the table last year. Of course last year, you were convinced the electorate was with you guys and that Obama was sure to get tossed out of the White House. To put this in a language you can understand: Your Party gambled and they lost now suck it, you drunken plastics CEO, you executive in charge of distribution of sweet tobacco monies on the floor of our political nexus, you shitload of sadness and alcohol resentment. Who’s the party of NO now, you zozzled, soul-sucked tool of the corporatist elite? Seriously, you don’t even have control of your tear ducts, let alone of your caucus. You are well on your way to being the most ineffective and powerless Speaker in modern history, out-Newting Newt. I mean, you have Eric Cantor Machiavelli-ing around you – for God’s sake, man! Nancy would have flogged away that bit of pestilence on her first day.
Anyway, have fun campaigning for another term against a Democrat and some no-shame, no-taxes Tea Party cuckold who’s going to sell you down the river as a big-government liberal.