from Gawker
by Max Read
After Tuesday night’s debate, a photograph of Mitt Romey’s son Josh sitting in the audience with a bloodcurdling stare quickly went viral. And then, yesterday, another Romney son — Tagg — told a radio host that he wanted to “take a swing” at President Obama. All of which leads to the natural question: which is the creepiest Romney?
Obviously, like all rich, entitled white men in politics, finance, and real estate development the Romneys are all varying degrees and kinds of creepy. But Below, you’ll find a guide to the Romney sons, featuring what kind of creep vibes they give off, testimony toward their creepiness from a panel of anonymous judges (okay, my coworkers), and evidence against their creepiness.
Craig
Creep Vibe: Needy stalker
Testimony: “The little squirelly one [is the creepiest]. He has curly hair and his teeth are out of alignment. He got the bad genes. He’s the defective Romney.”
Evidence against: Multilingual, beloved by women, has cute family, dressed up as his dad for Halloween.
Ben
Creep Vibe: Misfit adoptee
Testimony: “Ben is so sad. He looks just like Ann. He’s probably unstable because of that — teased, labeled a changeling, etc.” “It’s Ben. He doesn’t know how to smile.” “If you look through photos of the family, Ben is always standing behind everyone.”
Evidence against: Not really involved in his father’s campaign; is a doctor rather than a businessman, banker or politician; “looks like Cousin Matthew.”
Josh
Creep Vibe: Evil cyborg banker
Testimony: “Josh could play a batman villain as is.” “Definitely Josh. He’s got a fucking freaky bone structure. Josh looks like he’s seen some shit.”Evidence against: Josh is by all accounts the “prankster” of the family and the most charming; he’s also apparently the most likely to go into politics.
Matt
Creep Vibe: Slightly less evil cyborg bankerTestimony: To be honest, no one really thought Matt seemed like a creep.
Evidence against: He is the one who makes birther jokes, though.
Tagg
Creep Vibe: Drunken sociopath frat brother
Testimony: “Tagg is creepy in a Mitt Romney way, like he would kill poor people for sport and be really good at it, and explain it in a way that seemed to almost make sense. ‘I’m really performing a service here.'”
Evidence against: Follows a fake Jake Gyllenhaal on Twitter, signed a pro-choice agreement with the surrogate mother of his children.
thanks to jaydi for making me aware of this nightmare.