Oh, yeah, Mittbott Romney won that debate, he was a brilliant statesman, he creamed poor, dumb, lily-livered Obama. I don’t know what debate you guys were watching, but I saw an exhausted president having to take time out of his day to share the stage with a hyped-up moron with a smirking, stupid color changing face. He even said so, coming out saying that it was his freaking anniversary and WTF is he doing here, having to debate a Mormon robot shit-for-brains with dancing horses? I honestly thought Mitt looked like he took something. His eyes were glassy and Bachmanneyezed, like he’d consumed belladonna backstage. He was sweaty and jumpy, and he had cottonmouth (you could see his lips getting all stuck to his teeth. I mean even Miss Alabama knows to put Vaseline on your teeth a’fore ya goes on stage). Ephedra maybe? Adderall? He sounded like a coked-out Florida real-estate salesman and looked like he drank a Big Gulp of Mountain Dew and then forgot to take a leak before he went on stage. He couldn’t even say their stupid phrases correctly and he didn’t say the stupid stuff that he’d been saying before. He said he liked regulations and he liked Dodd Frank, it just wasn’t implemented? His posse likes this? They really have no idea WHAT he is saying when he speaks words, do they? They like loud talking and belligerent smirking.
Obama was merely boring and visibly exhausted. But after 7 years of practicing, Mittbot is reactive, gets agitated easily and is comically smug. Basically, Mitten’s entire campaign is a temper tantrum of the Third Rate White Man who has lost all the status and network connections that they’ve had for so long and it showed in his debate “performance”. Like all bullies, he misconstrued civil discourse as weakness and shot down his own tax plan and lied about the previous condition clause again. So bad, his own campaign had to correct that to the media immediately after: under Romney, “the states”, somehow, will take care of that. So: Romney’s federal plan will not. Lie or incompetence?
Then there was his infuriatingly egoistic repeated steamrolling of poor, incompetent, soulless-eyed Lehrer. At least Obama let the guy finish his sentence when he warned him he was going over time, even if he just went right back to ignoring him. Remember how gleeful The Right was when Newt was a fucking dick to the moderators in a couple of those GOP debates? They love that shit. Being a fucking dick = wins debate in American politics. Of course, the lamestream media are the same folks that claimed W was “likable”, even though he always came across as a fratboy douchebag and a bully, the kind of guy almost everybody hates in real life. Our media loves dicks. When you look at how these people behave in public – yelling, screaming, yelling – then it makes sense why they loved Romney’s appearance last night. Basically, he was acting like Chris Matthews. What could possibly be more impressive than that?’
And then Mitt told America that he was going to kill Sesame Street. He also essentially called all his sons liars (they do knock on doors, and claim they have the path to salvation). Come to think of it, he also called them “boys”, even though the youngest is 35 years old. Maybe by comparing Obama to his lying “boys” he was calling Obama a lying boy to placate the haters i.e. the majority of Mitten’s base? Who knows. I think from now on, we should rig the candidates up to car batteries, and give the moderator two buttons. And I’m not just talking about time limits. Avoid the premise of the question? Zap. Interrupt your opponent? Zap. Tell a lie? Zapzap. Yeah, I’s be a great moderator.