The end of days. How much would you pay for a cramped, ugly apartment in Brooklyn? One million dollars? Then this”lovely”, “new” ground floor domicile at 417 Clinton Street in Carroll Gardens is for you!
The “ground floor” apartment consists of two low-ceilinged rooms plus a walk-in closet, “backyard” and 16 by 11 feet of storage in the basement.
If you put down the requisite 30% – that’s about $300,000 – add in your maintenance ($425) and taxes ($700 a month) and you are shelling out a total of $5000 a month. For the pleasure of nibbling on gluten-free tapas, browsing vintage taxidermy, and connecting to Wi-Fi hot spots from Red Hook to Bushwick.
There’s something comforting about knowing it’s the end of the line. That it’s all over. Brooklyn rents are now high enough to drive skinny-jeans out of the gilded isle and back to Manhattan, in a fucked up kind of renaissance. New York is all just one big vegan sake mall now anyway, run by Midwest and European trust funds. Put the Brooklyn hipsters over the river and the city is approaching an almost biblical point of no return. The suburbs are starting to seem a hive of eccentrics in comparison.
And we shalleth be forced to squat in the ruins of the suburbs.
from the listing: “A garden so big you could start your own farm”
from the listing: “Beautiful large open kitchen!”