Here’s my business plan:
Kidnapping job creators like the Koch brothers and parting them out for their organs. Seriously, if you needed a kidney transplant what would you rather have, a kidney from some anonymous loser or a Chinese political prisoner or a high-quality kidney from a high-powered job creators like Dave and Charlie Koch? Why have some soggy, anemic loser organ when you could instead have a Koch job creating organ instead? Oh you say that organ’s been ruined by years of alcoholism and cocaine abuse? I say that kidney has been battle tested by a job creator! Sure, go ahead and take your vegan, fair-trade, cruelty-free, loser kidney from an anonymous member of the 99 percent. I’m going to take the winner’s kidney! (besides, there’s always Mitt’s pure, untainted organs, that would come at a premium. A job creating organ that has not been sullied by drugs and drink would go for a LOT).
INVENTED BY KARA VALLOW, MAY 2, 2012. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. PATENT PENDING, ETC.