It’s watching C-SPAN that made me realize what a filthy racist I’ve become. Any time I see a white person with an [R] (or [R]-ish) chyron below the head, my first thought is “bottom-feeding, racist, corporate-tool wingtard.” Anytime I see someone with a [D] (or [D]-ish) chyron below his head, my first thought is “okay, probably sane.” Anytime I see congress in on C-SPAN, I see an assembly line output of the same haircut, suits and same child molesting bent. As soon as a white [R] politician with a southern drawl steps up to the microphone, I immediately think “klansman”. The more melanin I see the person has, the saner I think they probably are. When a black or brown talking head pops on the screen, I immediately think “most likely a normal person”. Anytime I see a crowd of people at a rally for any [R], my first thought is “deluded, hateful, kidney-stones-for-brains, Fox News comatose racist, scooterpeople.” When I look at any [R] politician, or candidate, I think “frothy hypocritical piece of over sized ego with with a penis the size of the world’s tallest leprechaun dickhead”. Whenever I see a white, [R], self-proclaimed religious type, I immediately think, “self-loathing pole-smoking closet dweller with unspeakable psychosexual hangups”. Whenever I accidentally pass by Fox Noose with the channel changer, I think: “Fair and Balanced for Paranoid White Gunslinging Assholes”.
Thanks, guys. You have turned this once bleeding-hearted, Quaker-schooled, tolerant, erudite, broad-minded liberal into a racist asshole like yourselves.