From the monthly archives:
April 2012
Speaking at distinguished Otterbein University, Mitt Romney takes off his tie to somberly detail his method for amassing greenbacks, as the students all slip into comas.
A 200-lb hippie bear was wandering around the University of Colorado campus in Boulder, eventually climbing up a tree to snooze. Officials shot the hippie bear with a tranquilizer dart and he fell onto a large mat. Described as “pretty mellow” , he “was resting up on the branch”. Hippie-bear will be taken back to […]
The card in England’s Plumpton Racecourse includes a ten-strong Shetland Pony Champion Hurdle, on which the Tote runs a special pool as part of their between-races entertainment. There’s the Shetland Grand National – only the most nauseatingly adorable thing I’ve seen in my whole life. A miniature steeplechase on stout, furry little legs, streaking forward […]
Waiting for Dick Cheney to die? Pull up a Chair! It’s gonna be a while. We all thought he might be dead – months had past without the crooked-mouthed toad on the teevee questioning Obama’s patriotism. And what with the recent pantheon of sociopathic dictators whom everyone wanted dead — Khaddafi, Mubarak, Saddam, Kim […]
Photograph of Satchel Paige, 1968, by Louis Requena/MLB/Getty Images via New Yorker
BATTLEGROUND AMERICA via New Yorker Just after seven-thirty on the morning of February 27th, a seventeen-year-old boy named T. J. Lane walked into the cafeteria at Chardon High School, about thirty miles outside Cleveland. It was a Monday, and the cafeteria was filled with kids, some eating breakfast, some waiting for buses to drive them […]